Exiles
by Zephyras
Summary: When Aizen is discovered to have been defeated by a group of exiles months after his defection, the Soul Society is understandably uneasy. They begin an investigation which eventually locates twenty years gone deserter Kuchiki Rukia. AU, Ichigo/Rukia.
1. Divergence

Exiles-

She can't stay. She had a feeling where this was all going to lead, the second she saw Aizen-taichou appear and then disappear in front of her eyes, but now it's not even an option anymore. The longer she stays, the more chance she will be killed. And there's no point of even trying to tell anyone. No one would believe her, and she knows deep in her gut that she would most likely end up dead in some sort of "unfortunate accident" before the day was out.

So Rukia leaves.

It's surprisingly easy. She didn't really have any friends, now that Kaien-dono was gone. Kiyone-san and Sentarou-san aren't the same and they're busier more than ever now that the Thirteenth Division no longer has a vice-captain. Renji hasn't spoken to her in almost twenty years. She regrets the trouble her disappearance will cause Ukitake-taichou and Nii-sama, but in the end she knows they will be better off without her. She was always a burden on both of them, especially on Nii-sama, who deserved better than a weak, unseated officer.

It takes her two years to find Urahara Kisuke in the human world, but she never gives up, never falters. She has nothing left but this, no other purpose to keep on living.

It's a humid day in midsummer when she finds him in a town called Karakura with unusually high spiritual pressure. He's set himself up in some kind of traditional candy shop, but his _name_ is on the sign and Rukia hovers outside uncertainly, even as it starts pouring rain, for almost an hour.

Finally she musters the courage to enter the dingy building and an extremely tall man doing inventory takes one look at her and shouts "Boss!" before she even has a chance to say anything.

"I-" Rukia starts, voice hoarse from disuse, but the screen door at the back of the room opens and cuts her off before she has a chance to finish.

"Well, well, what do we have here?" a man wearing a green and white striped hat and a worn haori says, looking at her with cold eyes from under his brim. "Shinigami?"

"A-are you Urahara Kisuke?" Rukia says, barely managing not to choke on her words.

A dark-skinned woman enters the room after him, looking at Rukia suspiciously. The man exchanges glances with both his companions and lifts his cane up to the back of his neck casually.

"Yes, that would be me!" he says cheerfully, with a grin that send shivers down Rukia's spine. "Welcome to Urahara Shop! What can I get for you?"

Emotion so strong floods through Rukia in a wave and it's more out of relief than anything else that she falls to her knees on the dirty ground floor.

"Please excuse my intrusion, Urahara-sama," she says hoarsely, wet forehead touching the floor as she bows deeply, water dripping from her hair down her face. "I have a question."

"About?" Urahara asks and if he is surprised, it doesn't change his voice.

"Aizen Sousuke."

There is a long pause and Rukia shuts her eyes and prays he will not kill her before he answers.

"Who is he?" she asks, hands shaking against the floor. "What does he want? And why-" She chokes, barely managing to recover her composure. "And why did he kill my vice-captain?"

The woman swears softly and Rukia hears Urahara sigh.

"Raise your head, shinigami-san," he says wearily and Rukia does, though she still remains seated on the floor. "Tessai, get some towels, she's soaking wet!"

Rukia blinks in confusion. "Please do not troubl-"

"Nonsense, you look freezing," Urahara says and despite her protests, Rukia finds herself bundled up in towels in the back room, horribly embarrassed as she drips water onto the tatami.

But embarrassment is soon put out of her mind as Urahara and the woman Rukia finds out is Shihouin Yoruichi tell her of the full extent of Aizen's treachery.

"So we're waiting," Shihouin finishes in her strange, masculine way of speaking. "Until Aizen reveals his true motives to the Soul Society, there's not much we can do. It'll be soon though. It's already been eighty years. He's not going to want to wait much longer."

"I see," Rukia says softly. She stares down at the tatami blankly. It's worse than she thought. Not just Aizen, but Ichimaru-taichou and Tousen-taichou as well?

Well. There's only one path to take then. There's no other option here and that would scare her, how few choices she has left in her existence, but in the moment she's just relieved at how _easy_ it is.

"I-" she starts, bowing her head again. "I am not very strong, but if there is any way I can be of use to you, I would gladly give my life to-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Shihouin says, cutting her off. "Slow down, now. No one said anything about giving lives."

Rukia raises her head uncertainly. "I would be honored to-"

"Don't be so serious, shini..." Urahara trails off. "What did you say your name was again?"

Rukia hesitates. She wants to lie and immediately feels ashamed. It's just that even exiles will know of the Kuchiki clan.

"Kuchiki Rukia," she says, bowing again. "I am honored to make your acquaintance."

It has been years that she's had this name. Strange how she should barely recognize it.

"Kuchiki?" Urahara says predictably.

"Huh, there's _more_ of you?" Shihouin says in surprise. "I wasn't aware that Byakuya had a...sister?"

"I was adopted," Rukia mumbles, not really wanting to go into the specifics.

"I see," Urahara says thoughtful, scratching his stubble-covered chin. "Kuchiki-san, huh? Well, I'm sure we can find a place for you here. I was thinking of hiring an assistant anyway."

So that's how things are. Rukia runs odd errands for Urahara-sama and takes care of the oddly high number of Hollows in Karakura, which the Soul Society's representative is always mysteriously unable to handle. She even meets the group of former shinigami Aizen experimented upon eighty years ago who call themselves "Vizards," though only once in a while to relay messages from Urahara-sama. It's just as well, as they don't seem to really like her. They never ask her name, only referring to her as "shinigami," but Rukia doesn't mind all that much as she cringes to think of what Sarugaki would say if she found out she (technically) used to be a noble.

It's...not really all that different from what things were like for her at the Soul Society. It's been so long since Rukia's had friends that she's mostly gotten used to the loneliness, barely noticing it anymore. Urahara-sama,Yoruichi-sama, Tsukabishi-san, and eventually Jinta-san and Ururu-san are nice enough, though she never becomes particularly close to them. She tries so hard to do her best and not to be a burden that when she's forced to give her shinigami powers to that _stupid_ human kid twenty years later, she's horrifically ashamed when Urahara-sama shows up to witness her foolishness. He doesn't seem to mind though, and kindly offers her a use of a gigai until her powers return.

But he can never quite meet her eyes after that and part of Rukia is not all that surprised when Aizen sticks his hand through her chest two months later, Ichigo bleeding out helplessly on the pavement. She learns that betrayal is just as normal as anything else in the path she has cut out for herself, and does not have to hurt.

**A/N: Why am I writing another Bleach fic you ask? BECAUSE I CAN! Anyway, as you can probably tell, this is an AU, which I have creatively titled: Exiles-verse. Because I have a million other stories to be writing right now I'm just going to drabble it. I've already written more than 15k, but I'm going to have to wait for more about the current arc in the manga to be revealed before I can write any more. So in the beginning I'll probably post pretty regularly, but then this will join the ranks of all the fics I take forever to update. Surprise!**

**Please review and let me know what you think!**


	2. Exposure

Renji stares at the screen, fists clenched at his sides. Yamamoto-soutaichou is saying something but Renji couldn't care less. He can only try not to let the horror, the relief, the fury, and all the other emotions he feels appear on his face. When a special Captain's meeting was called, he'd been expecting some sort of evaluation maybe, for him and the other two new captains, not this. _Never_ this.

It had been two years since Aizen's mysterious defeat and there'd never been any new information about what had actually happened. Aizen obviously wasn't talking and most shinigami had come to the conclusion that they would never really know the true story. He sneaks a look at his old captain, but Kuchiki Byakuya looks just as stoic as ever. Renji drops his eyes to the floor.

"...previously, we had believed the disappearance of Kuchiki Rukia to be completely unrelated to Aizen's treachery," Yamamoto-soutaichou says gruffly, startling Renji out of his reverie. "However, looking back on the circumstances of Shiba Kaien's death, it would not be a stretch to say that Aizen most likely had a hand in that as well. Kuchiki may have discovered this."

"Wouldn't she have said anything, then?" Soi Fon-taichou says sceptically, raising a dark eyebrow and crossing her arms over her chest. "Why just leave?"

"She must have thought no one would believe her," Ukitake-taichou says, immediately speaking up in Rukia's defense, though out of all of them he looks the most hurt. "Can anyone honestly say they would have?"

No one answers.

"Very well," Yamamoto-soutaichou says authoritatively, tapping his cane against the wooden floor harshly. "For now, Kurotsuchi, you will have a surveillance team keep close watch on Kuchiki Rukia to ascertain if there is any connection between her and Urahara Kisuke. We will make decisions on how to proceed once we have gathered enough information."

"Of course," Kurotsuchi-taichou says, somehow managing to sound nasty and respectful at the same time.

"That will be all," Yamamoto-soutaichou says with a harder tap of his cane. "Dismissed!"

There is a flurry of movement after this pronouncement and Renji is unsurprised to see that Kuchiki-taichou is one of the first to leave the room, leaving his decision to work up the guts and talk to him about Rukia-something they've never done-up in the air.

"Renji," Rangiku-san says, managing to look completely at home in her Captain's haori in a way that Renji envies. "You..." She pauses in an uncharacteristic attempt at tact. "Didn't you grow up with Kuchiki?"

For a second Renji is flung far back into the past, more than forty years ago, when he and Rukia had last stood before the graves of their childhood friends and bade goodbye before enrolling in the Academy, promising to come back and visit. They never had.

"Yeah," he says, with an uncomfortable shrug and refuses to elaborate further.

Rangiku-san frowns, but before she can say anything pitying, Hitsugaya-taichou interrupts them.

"Don't you have a division to be running, Matsumoto?" he asks disdainfully. "Just because it was Aizen's before is no excuse to do poorly."

Rangiku-san executes a perfect pout. "So mean, taichou!" she says dramatically. "Unfortunately, I'm no longer your vice-captain. I don't have to listen to your orders!" She sticks out her tongue and Histsugaya-taichou scowls in response.

"A-aa," Renji says awkwardly, touching the back of his neck with one palm. "I actually have some work to do, so...Jaa, Rangiku-san, Hitsugaya-taichou."

"No, need to be so formal, Renji-kun!" Kyouraku-taichou says as he passes, giving Renji a clap on the shoulder. "You're one of us now."

Renji nods mechanically, but he can't even bring himself to smile for show. As one of the only vice-captains with Bankai, he knows he should have expected it, but to be honest, he was completely surprised when he was asked to become the captain of the Third Division. It's a hell of a lot more paperwork than he expected and he understands now why Ikkaku passed on the promotion. It's been six months already, but he still thinks he'll never get used to the feeling of all the eyes of his..._subordinates_ on him. It's hardly fair because Rangiku-san and Hisagi-senpai seem to be doing fine, and he was being considered for captain far before either of them achieved Bankai.

"Yeah," he says and gives one last glance at the surveillance camera picture on the screen.

She's in a gigai, on a human street, wearing stupid human clothes, the same old exasperated Rukia-smile on her face directed towards one of her several human companions. Her hair is shorter than it was when he last saw her, but besides that she looks _exactly the same_. It actually sickens him a little how much she hasn't changed in the nearly twenty years since she disa-no, _deserted_. And now she's trying to pass as a human, as if all those years in Inuzuri and training as a shinigami never happened at all.

_"Pathetic_," Renji thinks scornfully as he returns to the Third Division barracks.

He doesn't know if he's referring to Rukia or himself.

**A/N: You know, I never thought I'd be saying this, but Renji is really polite! Which is really annoying, because I had to go back in the manga and look up all the different ways he addresses specific people, so sorry for the gratuitous Japanese. And also get used to it. **

**Anyway, I know it's just the start of the story, but I hope no one's too confused. All will be explained, I promise. Also, I feel I'd better say that the later parts of this story are completely dependent on what happens in the next arc of the manga. So if you aren't up to date, prepare for major spoilers, even as close as the most recent chapter. **

**Please review!  
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	3. Quotidian

"KONNNNN!" Ichigo roars, "WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BAG?"

Rukia groans and stuffs her head under her pillow when Kon replies indignantly that he has nothing to do with its disappearance. When Ichigo won't stop screeching like a insolent child, Rukia blearily lifts her head up to check the time. Her rabbit-shaped clock reads 6:38 and Rukia jerks up furiously to pound on the wall that separates her and Ichigo's bedrooms.

"Shut _up_, Ichigo!" she demands loudly. "I am trying to get some sleep!"

"Nee-san!" Kon wails immediately in response, shrill voice discernible even from the next room. "Ichigo's accusing me of heinous cri-"

"I'm going to be _late_, Kon, you bastard!" Ichigo yells furiously, and Rukia buries her head under her pillow again and tries to focus on not murdering both her roommates. Also, she hopes that the other tenants in their building won't complain. For the umpteenth time.

After Ichigo graduated from high school, Rukia had moved in with him more out of respect for their screwed up tradition than anything else. After all, she'd lived in his closet for almost three years, even after it was obvious his father knew who she was, and where _else _was she going to go?

"Eh, why _not_ let the madness continue?" Ichigo said when he offhandedly brought up the idea walking back from school and Rukia grinned.

"Oh, Kurosaki-kun," she intoned, in her best high-pitched voice. "You _do_ care about me after all!"

Ichigo threw his drink at her.

Now it's May, and Ichigo is in first year at Shibaura Institute of Technology studying engineering. To help make ends meet, Rukia is a shopgirl at the local Marui department store in addition still working for Urahara whenever he needs her. It's pretty dull; she mostly sorts things and helps customers with their needs, but it's funny how much the whole thing disturbs Ichigo. (The look of utter _horror_ on his face when she greeted him with the traditional "Irasshaimase!" a full two octaves higher than her normal speaking voice, the one time he'd come to visit, or, as he put it, "to make sure she hadn't burnt the place down," was telling to say the least.)

Things are normal, though, or as normal as they could be in Karakura. Even after Aizen's defeat, Karakura still remains a spiritual energy hotspot, resulting in all of their core group of friends commuting to school instead of moving away. Both Inoue and Sado travel more than an hour to reach their respective schools, and Ichigo...

Rukia rolls over onto her back and stares up at the cracked ceiling, listening to Ichigo curse as he runs out the door to catch his train.

Ichigo could have moved closer to Shibaura. After all, it's been two and a half years since he lost his powers.

They're slowly returning, of course. He's gotten to the point where he can make out the average ghost, but at this rate it'll be years before he'll be able to fight again.

She's not sure Ichigo has years.

**A/N: Sorry this one is so short, but at least I updated? I'm going to try and post one of these once a week though, at least until I run out of drabbles. Next week will probably be Ichigo! Please review!**


	4. First Hand

It's Monday morning and Rukia can't deal with another weekend like that, she just can't. She calls in sick to work and texts Ishida to meet her for lunch at a cafe near his university.

"Are you almost done?" she asks him the second he sits down across from her at the downtown Tokyo plein-air cafe.

For a second, he looks confused, but then the look melts off his face, replaced by something that looks like exasperation.

"It's only been a week, Kuchiki-san," he says carefully. "Urahara-san said it should be a month for each of us. Besides, I thought we were waiting until Kurosaki had regained more of his powers."

They were, that's what they had decided, but it's been eight months since they've started this, everyone with spiritual power they know carrying around the sword. Ishida is second to last in line, then it's her turn, and then they were going to hand it off to the Vizards, wherever they've run off to now, but Rukia cannot stand to see Ichigo waste away anymore.

"I do not think he can wait an-" she says with a shaky breath, but doesn't finish the sentence because she knows Ichigo would _kill_ her if he found out she was talking to Ishida about this.

Ishida drops his eyes down to the table and Rukia knows she made the right decision. Even though it was far shorter than two and a half years, both she and Ishida know the pain of being powerless in a world that is defined by power. Out of all their friends, they come the closest to understanding what Ichigo is going through. The only difference is that Ishida doesn't live with Ichigo and he can't see the misery slowly eating away at him a little more every day, no matter how hard he tries to hide it.

"Give me another week and a half," Ishida says finally, glancing down at his bag where the sword is no doubt hidden. "I can probably put enough power into it by then and then I'll hand it off to you." He pauses and looks up at her seriously. "Does Urahara-san know you're going ahead of schedule?"

Rukia shakes her head. "I doubt it. Ichigo's father, on the other hand...I am pretty sure he knows. He actually encouraged me to speed the process up. I guess even he can see that Ichigo is-"

The waitress interrupts them then and they put their conversation on hold to order food and drinks.

"Kuchiki-san?" Ishida says worriedly after they're alone again. "Is Kurosaki _alright_?"

_"No,"_ Rukia thinks, remembering the defeated slump of Ichigo's shoulders, the lethargy that seemed to wrap itself around him like a mantle, and the bursts of sudden anger at the entire world that had even _Kon_ concerned. _"He's really not."_

She cannot shake him out of this depression, like she's been able to do so many times in the past. There is nothing she can say to make it better, to give him purpose again. Rukia knows this and has known it from the second they found out Ichigo would lose his powers. But she's not willing to admit that to anyone, even Ichigo himself, so Rukia digs her fingers into her palms and forces herself to remain tall.

"He will be," she says, with a determined nod. "I know we said we would wait until more of his powers return, but it is taking too long. Another couple weeks and I am doing it."

Ishida sighs, but he doesn't look particularly inclined to argue. "Alright," he says seriously. "I'm with you."

Rukia returns to Karakura not exactly in what she'd normally classify as a good mood, but with something like hope burning in her chest.

She does not notice the camouflaged, non-reiatsu emitting Soul Society camera waiting for her in front of her apartment door that slinks inside after her.

**A/N: So, yeah, I said it'd be Ichigo next, but I lied, sorry! In fact it might be a while until Ichigo, because he just refuses to be written. Jerk.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading and please review!**


	5. Under Consideration

Even though Kurotsuchi-taichou freaks him the fuck out, Renji endures his mocking words and disturbing insinuations to get access to his surveillance team's footage. The psycho assured him that any important developments would be reported to the rest of the captains, but Renji's not interested in important developments. Or, they're not the only things he's interested in. It's been decades since he last saw Rukia, and now to find her hiding in the mortal world...Well, he wants to know what's she's even doing there, and if he has to wade through footage of her pretending to be _one of them_ to find out, then so be it. And that's how it begins.

Rukia, he discovers, has gone completely native. She's even _living _with a human, a _man_, though Renji honestly can't tell what their exact relationship is as the orange haired human is constantly grumpy and elusive. She works at some sort of shop, selling superfluous accessories to women in exchange for human currency and her demeanor is even more disgusting during those periods of time that Renji almost gives up in contempt. She's obviously not even the same person he grew up with all those years ago and he doesn't know why he even bothers, but for some reason he can't stop watching.

It doesn't help that he's forced to listen to the commentary of the surveillance team who take different shifts to observe their mark and have come up with creepily complicated theories about the interpersonal relationships of Rukia and the humans she surrounds herself with.

"Obviously, she's completely in love with him," this one girl with green hair keeps saying, scribbling notes onto her notepad enthusiastically. "Why else would she live among humans? Oh, it's so romantic!"

"You mean the Ichigo kid?" another says incredulously. "Who would be in love with him? He barely ever talks and he's always scowling. Besides, I think he has a thing with the brown haired girl with the big boobs."

"Nah, she's a lesbian."

"What?"

"C'mon, she's always hanging out with the karate girl. They're totally doing it."

It is really, _really _stupid.

Renji learns pretty quickly not to take the surveillance team's word for it when they talk about things that happened between his visits. Still, the fact that they have nothing better to talk about proves that Rukia really has turned her back on her roots. Not once has she or anyone else around her mentioned Hollows or shinigami. Her human so-called "friends"obviously have no idea who she really is and Renji begins wondering why she's friends with them in the first place. How did they even meet? The surveillance team team estimates she's known them for a while, by the amount of pictures of their group together in Rukia's home, but obviously not long enough to notice that she doesn't age.

They're...they're happy pictures from what he's seen. There's one, on Rukia's bookshelf in her room, where's she looped both her arms over the necks of another girl with short black hair and the orange haired boy who's name Renji can never remember. Both girls are smiling and the boy is rolling his eyes exasperatedly. Then another, just of Rukia and the brown haired girl wearing yukata, on her bed side table. And the last, a group picture with all eight of them at the beach on the kitchen counter. The orange haired kid doesn't look particularly happy in this one either. Renji vaguely wonders if he even knows how to smile.

But the important thing is that Rukia _is_ smiling, something he hasn't seen her do since before they entered the Academy, ironically enough. For a while, he thinks that maybe, eventually, he could be okay with Rukia's betrayal. He finds himself hoping that Rukia doesn't have anything to do with Urahara Kisuke, because they're not children anymore and even if he doesn't understand her choices, he's only ever wanted her to be happy.

Still, despite how ridiculous and_ human _Rukia's life is, he can't help but pay attention when drama occurs.

**A/N: Sorry this one's so short again! They'll be longer after this, I promise! **

**If you have any questions or comments, please review!**


	6. Disquiet

"It's been such a long time, Asano-kun!" Rukia twitters with a curtsy. "Please make yourself at home!"

"Kuchiki-san, as beautiful as ever!" Asano declares passionately, kicking off his shoes haphazardly. "When will you leave that ungrateful jerk and come live with me?"

"Oh, I'm so embarrassed, Asano-kun!"

"Please stop," Ichigo interrupts them from the kitchen, looking pained. "The two of you are giving me the creeps."

"Oh, so mean, Kurosaki-kun!" Rukia says indignantly, putting a hand to her chest in shock. "Don't worry, Asano-kun, he doesn't mean it!"

"Like hell I do," Ichigo grouses and then scowls more. "Is that sake?"

"The finest, straight from my sister's supply!" Asano says with an incorrigible grin, holding up several loaded plastic bags. "And don't look like that, Ichigo. No party's a party without alcohol."

"Are you sure it's okay?" Rukia says, putting on a delicate worried face. "We're all still underage..."

"Don't worry, Kuchiki-san, I'll protect you from Ichigo's unwanted advanc-"

"OI!"

Sado, Ishida, Inoue, Kojima and Arisawa all slowly trickle inside and Rukia pastes on her best fake smile and focuses on making the most of their rare free time together.

For a while it seems to work. Asano and Inoue sing embarrassingly loud karaoke while Ishida and Kojima make sarcastic remarks and Sado shakes in silent amusement. Ichigo and Arisawa argue loudly over which martial arts movie to watch until Rukia elbows them both out of the way and picks an embarrassing rom-com that has the entire room except Inoue groaning in seconds. Alcohol is consumed, Inoue's home-cooked food is passed around to nearly everyone's trepidation, and Asano unilaterally makes a fool of himself. (No one is surprised.)

It's great, perfect even, until about two o'clock in the morning when Rukia goes to bring everyone's dishes into the tiny kitchen and comes back to find that Ichigo has put his fist through the wall next to the couch and has gone for a walk to cool off.

No one is saying anything, but they all turn to look at her when she enters the room and Rukia can't stand it. She takes three large steps into the bathroom, away from the horrifying silence, its weight pressing down on her more than even Aizen's reiatsu, and throws up her dinner into the toilet.

She kicks the door closed before anyone can come in after her to make sure she's okay and stifles a sob in her hand.

It's the helplessness that's killing her, as much as it's killing Ichigo. There's absolutely nothing she can _do_, no way she can change it or make things any better for it. How long, she finds herself wondering, how long do they have until Ichigo does something truly irreparable?

"Dammit," she whispers, wiping her mouth.

She closes her eyes and stand with difficulty, flushing the toilet and moving over to the sink to wash out her mouth.

"Dammit," Rukia says again, head bowed over the sink and for a few seconds she actually thinks she's going to cry. It's ridiculous, to cry over something so..._non-life threatening_. She's been in far worse situations than this, _they've _been in far worse situations, so why does this _hurt_ so much?

For a while she just stands there and breathes, staring down into the cracked sink, but it doesn't seem to help. At the sound of voices beyond the door, Rukia looks up at the mirrored door of the medicine cabinet. She stares at her pale reflection for less than a second before she draws back her fist and smashes it clean through without consciously deciding to.

Blood running down her hand, Rukia doesn't even bother to try and explain when the door opens. She just closes her eyes and waits for the impending freakout.

"You're bleeding," Asano says quietly.

Rukia opens her eyes and turns towards him, then looks down at her hand, slowly dripping blood onto the tile floor.

"Yes," she answers succinctly. "I am."

"Jeez, you and Ichigo are so alike," Asano says in exasperation, leaning against the door frame. "Always punching things."

For whatever reason, this offhand comparison makes Rukia's throat tighten and her chest twinge painfully. She opens her mouth to retort, but stops at the last second at the complete lack of humor in his eyes.

"Tell him I did it," Asano says.

Rukia stares, unsure if she heard right. "I do not think-"

"We've all had a couple drinks," Asano interrupts her, a sad sort of smile that she's never seen him wear before on his face. "Me more than the rest of you. He'll believe you if you tell him I did it."

"Asano, that is not-"

"Tell him I did it, Kuchiki-san," Asano says firmly, face almost unrecognizable in his seriousness. "Just...please."

Rukia doesn't know what to say, so she turns on the sink and sticks her bleeding hand under the water.

"Alright," she says finally over the sound of the faucet, staring at the bloody water swirling down the drain instead of Asano. "But I do not understand why."

Asano gives an abortive shrug against the door frame. "I've been breaking Ichigo's shit since we were fifteen. It's tradition by now."

The utter ridiculousness of _Asano_ claiming a significant destructive influence on Ichigo's life makes Rukia want to be sick all over again. Because she knows who's fault this whole thing really is, as hard as she tries not to think on it. If it were not for her, Ichigo would probably be the average carefree university student right now, or as average as one could be with the ability to see ghosts. There would be no scars on his chest from Aizen's first attack, no waking up in the middle of the night gasping for breath and grabbing for a sword that isn't there, no silent longing for power and responsibilities that he should have never had to bear in the first place. The fact that Ichigo regrets nothing only makes her feel worse.

Rukia turns off the faucet and crouches down to carefully pick up the shards of mirror from the floor and inside the sink.

"You need a bandage?" Asano asks, with a calmness that Rukia envies.

"Yes," Rukia says quietly, suddenly indescribably grateful that it was him and not any of the others that came after her. "That would be most helpful."

Asano leaves the room, closing the door behind him so she does not have to answer for her behavior to any of the others, at least for a little while. Rukia stares blankly at the broken mirror until her eyesight blurs so much that she can no longer make it out.

By the time Rukia wraps up her hand and cleans up the bathroom as best as she can, the shock of the night's events seems to have mostly worn off. Inoue keeps giving her worried looks and the rest of them are certainly tense, but at least no one is _talking_ about it. An awkward silence follows after Ichigo returns, looking not at all pleased to see them all still there and heads immediately to his room without a word, and everyone loudly agrees when Sado suggests they turn in for the night. Rukia offers Arisawa and Inoue the use of her bed, while Asano, Kojima, and Sado take the floor in front of the television and the couch.

After changing into her pajamas (which she should probably give back to Ichigo's little sister at some point,) Rukia steels herself and pushes open Ichigo's door.

The lights are off, but Rukia can make out the shape of Ichigo sullenly buried under the covers in his bed. For a second she wavers, but reminds herself that she is the only one who can do this. Ichigo would probably throw anyone else out and someone has to do damage control.

"Oi, Ichigo," she says, shutting the door behind her and making toward the bed. "Move over."

Ichigo's room is small, and mostly devoid off decoration, even the band posters he'd had in his room at home, but in the few steps between the door and the bed, Rukia almost trips over a pair of his jeans and two t-shirts crumpled on the floorboards. She remembers a time when Ichigo was almost unnaturally clean, but then again she also remembers a time when he could shatter a mountain into pieces with one swing of his blade.

"What?" he grumbles, voice muffled against the pillow. "Fuck off."

"Inoue and Arisawa are occupying my bed," Rukia informs him, coming to stand right next to the mattress, arms crossed over her chest. "And I refuse to sleep on the floor in my own house."

Ichigo lets out a long-suffering sigh. "Fine," he groans and rolls over onto his back. "I don't know why I'm surprised. You steal my food, you steal my closet, why not steal my bed too?"

He pulls back the comforter and Rukia kicks off her slippers, sliding under the covers beside him.

"You're not getting my pillow too," Ichigo says grumpily up to the ceiling.

Rukia rolls her eyes. "I am quite comfortable without one, thank you very much."

She's not lying; she grew up in the 78th District of the Rukongai after all, and pillows have always seemed to be a tad excessive to her. Her head against Ichigo's mattress, she turns on her side and simply watches him breathe for a few quiet moments, arms crossed under his head, eyes closed.

"How is your hand?" she asks quietly, and as she says it she tucks her own under the blankets so he won't see the bandage.

His shoulder is a mere centimeter from her head on the mattress and she can feel him tense quite clearly.

"Don't," he mutters, opening his eyes to look up at the ceiling again. "Just drop it, Rukia."

"You do not have to do this, you know," she says, words bubbling out of her mouth before she has the chance to censor herself, fingers digging into the sheets. "You can talk to me-you do not have to keep everything to yourself. I-you just never _say_ anyt-"

"Because I can't," Ichigo says harshly, eyes still glued to the ceiling, jaw clenched tightly. "I can't, Rukia. Every time I try it's like I'm going to vomit. So. I don't. I just don't. It's better that way."

"For who?" Rukia mutters under her breath before she can stop herself.

Ichigo's shoulder stiffens even further next to her head and for a second Rukia thinks he's going to start yelling, but after a moment he relaxes.

"You worry too much, Rukia," he sighs, rubbing his eyes sleepily with one of his hands. "I'm fine, really."

He turns over on his side to look at her exasperatedly and it's the half-smile on his face that makes Rukia disbelieve him more than she's disbelieved anything in her long life.

"I-" she starts, but Ichigo rolls his eyes and turns onto his stomach.

"Just go to sleep, bitch," he mutters and slings a casual arm over her shoulders, warm against her skin even through two layers of fabric. "We're going to need it to clean up properly tomorrow. Can you believe Keigo actually broke the fucking bathroom mirror?"

Rukia closes her eyes and presses her face further into the mattress. She breathes in Ichigo's scent and tries very hard to leave her worries behind and go to sleep.

It doesn't work.

**A/N: And the emo continues! As it will next week too, when we finally get to Ichigo. Please review!**


	7. Rinse and Repeat

Ichigo floats. It's not like he doesn't do anything anymore; he still goes to class, still hangs out with his friends, still works for Ikumi-san part-time. But life doesn't feel like it used to. He doesn't have a purpose or a goal anymore. Things that he used to find fun or exciting seem childish and stupid. How could they, after he spent the better part of six months fighting monsters and rogue shinigami, invading the world of Hollows, and _saving the world_.

He just goes through the motions. Follows the norm for the average Japanese eighteen year old boy. School, work, friends, rinse, repeat. He just cruises along without much thought about his life and tries to pretend that he's not miserable.

Ichigo's pretty sure no one he knows well is buying it, but over the years he's gotten better and better at hiding his true feelings. Even Chad and Tatsuki have seemed less worried about him lately. (Though punching his apartment wall will probably change that.)

Rukia's the only one who he's never been to fool, but that's hardly surprising. After all that they've been through, Ichigo's never been able to put one past her. Sometimes it's annoying, but Ichigo's used to Rukia being the exception. That's the way it's always been, and Ichigo doesn't really mind that much anymore.

He'll never tell her this, but Ichigo's not sure what he'd do without her. Even at the very beginning it was always easy to be with Rukia and after three years of spending nearly every waking hour in her presence, he can't imagine an existence without her. If he had had to spend the past two and a half years without even _that_...

So, whatever, school, work, friends, Rukia, and begin again. He'll be able to stand tall, be _okay_, as long as he doesn't think too hard about the past, or the future, or the present. As long as he doesn't think at all. He can do this, he _has _to be able to do this or everything will fall apart and then Ichigo doesn't know where he'll be.

Rukia's head is on his chest when he wakes up the morning after their party, one arm thrown over his stomach. Ichigo blinks down at her in confusion, and it's only after a few seconds that he realizes that he has an arm around her waist as well.

He tries to carefully shift out of her grip, but she makes a sleepy noise against his pajama shirt and Ichigo freezes and decides it's probably best not to move.

According to his phone, it's barely eight o'clock. The rest of their friends are probably all still sleeping, but Ichigo doesn't think he can go back to sleep. He sighs and stares up at the ceiling, Rukia warm and curled into his side.

He should probably be embarrassed, but he isn't. He's slept in close quarters with Rukia before and he's painfully aware this is not the first time they've shared a bed. Still, she's pressed up against him pretty tightly, to the point that it's pretty obvious she's not wearing a bra underneath Yuzu's old pajamas. Her short hair is soft against his neck and every exhale ghosts her cool breath right over his heart. It _should_ be embarrassing and _weird_, but it's not and Ichigo finds he doesn't mind, as long as someone (Kon) doesn't come in and find them like this.

"Idiot," he grumbles exasperatedly and lightly places his hand on the back of her head. "You can't do anything normally, can you?"

It's only partly directed at Rukia.

He eventually does doze off again and wakes up a couple hours later to the melodious sounds of Tatsuki punching Keigo in the kitchen.

"What the hell?" Rukia groans, rolling off him and stuffing her head under the covers. "It is _far_ too early for this."

Ichigo...kind of doesn't want to go out there. He went straight to bed after walking around the block last night and if he leaves this room he's going to have to apologize for the whole wall punching thing. Especially to Mizuiro, who's concern over Ichigo's mental health should definitely not have warranted such a violent response.

On the other hand, Keigo might break something again, that _dumbass_, and Rukia's clearly not going anywhere. So while Ichigo would rather just curl into a ball and sleep, he gets out of bed, careful not to jostle Rukia, and goes to shut his stupid friends up before someone in the other apartments complains.

School, work, friends, Rukia, et cetera. Life is boring.

Until it's not and then everything goes to hell.

**A/N: And finally we get Ichigo!**

**...t****hat's pretty much it. Please review!**


	8. Fast Track

Another Captain's meeting is called and Renji _knows_, without any sort of basis whatsoever, that it's about Rukia. It's sort of late, already a month has gone by since they started surveillance on her, but he knows, without any shadow of a doubt, that they've finally found something.

He closes his eyes and grits his teeth after the Hell Butterfly flutters away, trying to ignore the worried look on his vice-captain's face.

"Abarai-ku-_taichou_," Kira stutters, even though Renji's told him from the beginning that he didn't have to call him captain. "Are you alright?"

"Just fine," Renji grouses and pulls his captain's haori off his desk chair. "I'd better go to this meeting, can you finish up here?"

He regrets it the second he asks. After all, Kira's been doing the Third Division's paperwork longer than he has.

"No problem," Kira says, not seeming to take offense, but instead still looking worried.

"I owe you one," Renji says with a grin, in complete violation of the appropriate captain to vice-captain relationship, and hurries out of his office, tugging on his haori as he goes.

What could have possibly happened, he wonders as he rushes toward the First Division headquarters. The last thing he'd seen on the surveillance tape was Rukia's disastrous human party and the even more uncomfortable aftermath. Renji's spent most of his days afterward torn between being disgusted that Rukia is not only obviously in love with a _human_, but one with emotional issues who doesn't even have the decency to like her back, and appalled that the Twelfth Division gossips were actually _right _about her the whole time.

The only thing he can think of is that her human friends found out about her true identity, but he doesn't really think the Soul Society would give a fuck about that. It has to be bigger than that for Yamamoto-soutaichou to actually call a Captain's meeting, an occurrence that can go without happening for years in times of peace. But what could be bigger?

_"Dammit,"_ Renji thinks, slipping into shunpo, as there's nothing worse than being late to one of these things.

He doesn't want Rukia to have anything to do with Urahara Kisuke, Shihouin Yoruichi, or any of the other famous exiles. Even living a lie among stupid humans would be preferable. She can turn on her roots, even fall in love with a pathetic excuse of a man and fade into a mere shadow of herself. But if it turns out there's another side to this all, Renji fears what the Soul Society might do. The idea that a group of ryoka and traitors most likely managed to defeat the largest threat the Soul Society has ever known is not a comforting one and the higher ups have all been on edge since Aizen was delivered sealed to their door.

_"Please, _please_, let it be something else,"_ Renji prays, but deep inside he knows that that's never even been an option.

"This had better be worth all the fuss," Yamamoto-soutaichou warns after all the captains are assembled, glaring at the pale and intimidated-looking surveillance team.

"Tr-Trust me," the shinigami with thick glasses says with only a minimal stutter in the face of the Soul Society's de facto leader, turning on the projector at the back of the room. "You're going to want to see this."

Rukia is walking quickly, still in human clothes, the camera zigzaging behind her to keep up. She appears to be in a library of some sort, full to the brim of shelves and shelves of books (what kind of human nonsense could they all be about?) and tables filled with humans hunched over computers. Students maybe?

Rukia doesn't appear to be looking for anything and walks with purpose up a flight of stairs and into a secluded corner where Renji is annoyed to find the orange haired kid seated. He's taken up the entire table with his bags and books, leaning over his notes with an even more pronounced scowl than usual.

"Having fun?" Rukia drawls as she draws closer to the table, crossing her arms over her chest and looking generally pleased with herself and the world.

The perpetually unhappy kid looks up at her and scowls some more.

"What the hell are you doing here, Rukia?" he asks, setting down his pencil. "Don't you have, I dunno, _work_ to be doing right now?"

"The pipes broke in our building," Rukia says airily, leaning over to look at the kid's notes. "The store is closed today for-ah, main-ten-ence." she says, enunciating the word carefully.

The kid rolls his eyes. "Uh huh, that's nic-hey, stop that!"

"I'm just _looking_," Rukia says innocently, the same way she used to convince shopkeepers that she wasn't in fact a thieving urchin.

The kid looks like he's more than his fair share of experience with Rukia's innocent look and edges his books away from her mistrustfully.

"So _why _are you here again?" he glowers, clearly displeased at her presence.

Rukia scoffs, plopping herself down in the chair across from him. "I could have gone home, you know. But instead I've selflessly come to keep you company," she declares triumphantly. "Of all the sacrifices I make for our friendship!"

"So you were bored and decided to come all the way down here to annoy me," the kid who's name Renji can never remember says dryly. "You couldn't go home and have Kon entertain you?"

It's Rukia's turn to look unamused now, putting up her elbows on the table and raising an eyebrow. "Kon, Ichigo? _Really_?" she says, referring to the strange human cotton doll that for whatever reason they refuse to get rid of, despite it running all around their apartment and annoying all comers.

"Alright, point taken," Ichigo (Renji _knew _his name was something weird) says, turning back to his work. "Just shut up and try not make it obvious that you're a total freak of nature."

"Fool, of the two of us you are the far more conspicuous with that ridiculous hair of yours."

"Bitch," Ichigo growls at her bad-temperedly, making Renji wonder for the millionth time why he even lives with her. "You're the one who talks like you're from the fucking Warring States Perio-"

"Excuse me," a girl holding a box in her arms says, approaching their table. "Are you a student here? Do you know where I can find books about shinigami?"

Instantly the whole atmosphere of the room changes. Captains like Soi Fon, Zaraki, and Hitsugaya are suddenly paying attention to the video. On screen, Rukia has stiffened up in her human dress and the kid looks incredibly confused.

"What the hel-" he starts and then lightening fast, _too fast_ for a human, the girl draws a knife and slashes his chest open.

For a second the kid just stares at her, blood seeping through his shirt.

"You," he snarls, starting to rise from his seat.

"Ichigo!" Rukia shouts, jumping out of her seat and rushing towards him, but the girl takes out some kind of crazy-looking _gun_ and blasts her into a tall bookshelf, causing it to teeter and fall.

The noise causes the other humans to look up, some starting to shout.

"Hahhhh," the girl sighs, putting the box down on the table in front of her and placing her hands on her hips. "Why did _you_ had to be here? I was hoping this wouldn't be too much trouble, but no such luck, huh?"

"Ruki...a," the kid starts in horror, but he seems to have trouble speaking and falls to his knees, barely missing hitting his head on the chair.

"Don't worry," the girl tells him cheerfully, twirling her finger around a shockingly pink pigtail, oblivious to the horrified humans around her. "I didn't cut you that deep. There's a sedative on the blade. Usually not my thing, knives, but this one was oh, so _pretty."_

"Who the fu...ck," the kid gasps and the girl rolls her eyes.

"Doesn't matter," she tells him matter-of-factly, reaching down to grab the collar of his jacket and haul him off the floor. "I just need to borrow you for a bit. I'll bring you right back, I pr-"

"I think _not!_" Rukia snarls and in a flash of shunpo, she's grabbed the girl by the neck and thrown her several meters across the library, smashing her box and sending her crashing through several bookshelves and finally the wall on the other side.

She's not in gigai anymore, and Renji's surprised to see the familiar black of her shihakushou contrasting with the silver of her blade. There's also a jagged scar that spans across her right cheek nearly to her ear that didn't translate over into her gigai.

The humans have started panicking in earnest now, and a few of them almost run into the camera as they flee the building.

"Take care of him!" Rukia shouts to the gikon in her gigai, which is looking worriedly over the kid's prone form.

"Hai, Rukia-sama!" it declares and Rukia turns her full attention back to the pig-tailed girl.

"Who are you!" Rukia demands, as the girl pushes herself up off the floor.

"Mou, so annoying!" the girl scowls, brushing off her indecently short skirt. "You've ruined my cutest outfit _and_ my dollhouse!"

She dodges Rukia's sword and jumps down to the ground floor from the railing in a feat that no ordinary human could manage.

"You really weren't supposed to be here, you know," the girl says irritatedly, fixing her strange hat and frowning up at Rukia. "But even though you've ruined everything I've don't have time to fight you. Until next time!"

She makes for the exit and Rukia leaps after her in pursuit.

"Oh, no you don't!" Rukia shouts, dodging around the hoard of oblivious humans to follow the girl.

She makes it to the outside and after a brief turnaround locates the girl on the top of a nearby building. She hurtles after her and Renji takes a moment to stare in awe at her speed. She's so fast the camera has a hard time catching up with her.

"Human, huh?" Rukia is saying when the camera finally reaches the two of them again, as they circle around each other warily.

"Hardly," the girl scoffs arrogantly, though she's bleeding from the lip now. "Not an ordinary human by far, as you can see. So you can stop holding back, shinigami."

"Fool," Rukia replies testily, tightening her grip on her sword. "I have not been a shinigami for a long time. What do you what with Ichigo?"

"You sure about that?" the girl smirks, ignoring Rukia's question. "Most exiles ditch the whole kimono thing and actually wear normal-people clothes, don't they? And you're still holding back on me because I'm a human, even though I left your boyfriend bleeding on the floor back there. You sure seem like the average self-righteous, meddling shinigami to me."

At either the reference to her past as a shinigami or what the girl did to Rukia's friend, Rukia freezes, real anger flooding onto her face. Renji has not seen that expression on her face for a long, long time and an actual ache starts in his chest as he realizes just how far apart they've become.

"Dance," she says coldly, her short hair flaring up away from her face. "Sode no Shirayuki."

She holds out her blade in front of her, turning it counterclockwise, and white flares onto her blade, a ribbon sprouting out from the pommel. Renji realizes that this is the first time he's ever seen Rukia's shikai. He can almost feel the burst of cold air through the screen, though it could hardly be as cold as the look on Rukia's face.

"Now we're talking," the other girl says triumphantly, raising her gun. "I always hate it when you people don'-"

But Renji doesn't get to find out what the other girl hates about shinigami, because apparently Rukia is done talking.

"Next dance," she calls out, and points of white energy spring up in front of her blade. "Hakuren!"

A tidal wave of white envelopes the pig-tailed girl and she is pinned to the roof under a thick layer of ice.

"Shit!" she swears, trying to struggle free, but her head is the only part of her body that is left untouched.

"Now," Rukia says, walking forward onto the ice, touching the point of her blade to her enemy's jugular. "You are going to tell me exactly what you want with my friend or make no mistake, I _will_ kill you."

There is absolutely no emotion on her face now, and coupled with her shorter hair and nasty-looking scar, Renji realizes with a jolt that he barely recognizes her.

_"What _happened_, Rukia?" _he thinks, suddenly remembering the cheerful girl who had climbed the tallest trees in the 78th and thrown down fruit to anyone who wanted some. This cold woman isn't the Rukia he remembers and it _hurts._

On the screen, the girl lets out a scornful laugh, despite her vulnerable position, hair spread out all over the ice. "What? So _now_ you're suddenly ready to kill me? Don't make me laugh."

Rukia's eyes narrow and she stomps down hard on the ice, causing the girl to cry out in pain.

"_Now_," Rukia says dangerously, drawing blood with her zanpakutou that runs down the girl's neck onto the ice. "I am only going to ask one more time. What. Do. You. Want. With. Ichigo."

"You really don't have to be so serious," the girl replies, looking more bored than afraid. "I wasn't going to _kill _him. I just needed to borrow him, that's all."

"Not good enough," Rukia says furiously and raises her blade. But before she can make another cut, the ice explodes, several shards hitting the camera. The blast obscures the lens for a few seconds, but when the dust clears, the pig-tailed girl has freed herself from the ice, brandishing her strange gun with a cocky grin on her face.

"How many times have I told you now?" she says, sounding pleased with herself as Rukia hunches over, coughing out ice particles several meters away from the blast. "I'm not a normal human. If you treat me like one you're going to lose..." Her grin widens and she draws her knife again, lunging forward at Rukia's unprotected form. "...shinigami!"

She gets about two steps from Rukia, before Rukia's hand shoots out to stay her arm.

"And I told you," Rukia says, still hunched over, her voice gone strange and distorted. Her grip tightens on the other girl's arm and she cries out as it breaks. "I am not a shinigami."

She looks up then, a white, evil looking mask on her face.

"What the hell is that?" Hitsugaya-taichou interjects.

"It can't be-" Ukitake-taichou says with wide eyes.

"Quiet!" Yamamato-taichou orders, eyeing the screen intently.

The pig-tailed girl seems to have the same reaction as Hitsugaya-taichou and Renji himself.

"You...that mask..." she stutters, looking for the first time completely thrown. "Is that a Hollow's mask?"

"Aaa," Rukia replies, voice more and more disturbing with every syllable passing through the sharp teeth of her mask.

So fast that the camera does not catch it, Rukia slams her head into the ground with one hand. The concrete of the roof splits and the pig-tailed girl gazes up at her in blank shock as blood pools from her head.

"You-" she hisses, trying to shoot Rukia at point blank range with her gun. Rukia kicks it out of her grasp, but the shot hits the side of her face, shattering the left side of her mask.

"Do not bother," Rukia says coldly as a couple pieces of her mask fall to the ground, revealing the black and yellow of a Hollow's eye. "It is over."

"Shit," the girl says hoarsely, twitching weakly. "You got blood all over my outfit, you _bitch_."

"I generally do not hurt humans, you know," Rukia says, looking down at her in contempt. She sheathes her sword. "But know that I do not forgive any harm that comes to my friends."

She turns around and looks directly at the camera and Renji feels his heart jump into his throat.

"That goes to you as well," she continues, glaring at all of them from the screen with her Hollow eye. "I know you will be tempted to meddle in these affairs, because that is what you do. But let me give you a little piece of advice: don't. Because if you touch Kurosaki Ichigo, or any of my other friends _I _will kill you."

Renji stares with wide eyes at the inhuman fury in her Hollowified face and thinks, oh, no, Rukia, you idiot, what have you done?

"Hadou no 54!" she cries out then, raising her right arm towards the camera. "Haien!"

The screen goes blank and then fills with static.

For a second the room is filled with complete silence and Renji finds himself looking toward Kuchiki-taichou again.

To his surprise, his old captain's eyes are wide with shock and it's because of this more than anything that Renji realizes just how bad the situation has become.

"Well, then," Yamamoto-soutaichou says harshly, the first to recover. "I think it's fair to say Kuchiki Rukia's connection with the exile Urahara Kisuke has been confirmed."

_"Fuck,"_ Renji thinks, and grits his teeth hard. _"You complete idiot. Fuck!"_

"How was she able to sense the camera?" Hisagi-senpai asks carefully, looking surprised at his own daring. "I thought it was supposed to be screened or something."

"Hmph, what exactly are you implying there?" Kurotsuchi-taichou asks testily.

"Er..." Hisagi-senpai says, looking shocked. "I was just-"

"It's a valid question," Kyouraku-taichou cuts in, saving the new Ninth Division Captain from Kurotsuchi-taichou's wrath.

Kurotsuchi-taichou scowls and then turns to glare at his underlings. "Well?" he says expectantly.

"Ah, it-it's possible Kuchiki's ice attack da-damaged the camera," a surveillance team member with pigtails like the girl in the video stutters, seeming a lot more intimidated by her own captain than Yamamoto-soutaichou. "The reiatsu-shielding mechanism most likely f-failed."

"So it would be possible to send another camera then," Komamura-taichou observes.

"What is that mas-" Rangiku-san starts, but Kuchiki-taichou cuts her off.

"Who is the boy?" he asks, completely emotionlessly, but the entire room turns to look at him awkwardly.

"I-uh," the green haired girl says nervously, clutching her clipboard tightly in front of her as if to shield herself from scrutiny. "He lives with Kuchiki. A lover, or just a friend? It's...unclear."

"Is there any reason you can make out as to why he was attacked?"

Renji hadn't even thought of that and by the looks on the faces of the other captains, they'd all been too preoccupied with Rukia's Hollow..._whatever_ to wonder why the encounter even happened in the first place.

"She didn't seem too interested in Kuchiki," Soi Fon-taichou says with thinly veiled anger and Renji wonders if the rumours are true and she really has a grudge against Urahara Kisuke. "She was after the kid the whole time."

"H-He's nothing though," glasses boy says, actually flinching when Zaraki-taichou gives a loud yawn signifying his utter disinterest in the entire affair. "Just a normal human."

"No spiritual power?" Renji speaks up for the first time, throat surprisingly dry, even though he knows the answer. He just can't think of why anyone would be interested in the perpetually morose kid either.

"It doesn't show up on our readings, so even if he had any it would be negligible," the final member of the surveillance team, a boy that looks about five, says reedily. "Speaking of, Kuchiki...she was an unseated member of the Thirteenth before she deserted, right? Well, the second she put on that mask, her reiatsu spikes into captain-class."

Unohana-taichou's eyebrows disappear into her hairline and Yamamoto-soutaichou's scowl deepens. Renji thinks he's going to be sick.

"That would be Urahara's experiments alright," Kyouraku-taichou says, serious for the first time Renji's ever seen him and it sends shivers down his spine.

"What is that mask, though?" Hitsugaya-taichou asks impatiently, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Who cares?" Zaraki-taichou groans, running a hand through his hair and rolling his eyes. "Just track down the crazy bitch and kill her. Problem solved."

"What is that supposed to m-" Renji starts furiously before he can think of what he's saying.

"Enough," Yamamoto-soutaichou intervenes before Renji can embarrass himself even more. "Zaraki, Abarai, contain yourselves!"

Renji shuts his mouth, more terrified of the fact that the Commander of the Soul Society _knows_ _his name_ than anything else.

Yamamoto-soutaichou lets out a heavy sigh and slumps in his seat. The entire room stares at this uncharacteristic behavior and their leader exchanges cryptic glances with Kyouraku-taichou, Ukitake-taichou, and Unohana-taichou.

"More than a hundred years ago," Yamamoto-soutaichou says finally, voice grating over Renji's ears even more than usual. "...when Urahara Kisuke was still captain of the Twelfth Division..."

**A/N: Hooray for actual plot! Writing this part was a bit annoying because Renji didn't know Riruka's name, so I hope it didn't read too awkwardly. Please review!  
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	9. Fallout

"...and then this boy, he could not have been more than thirteen years old, showed up and somehow opened some alternate dimension that allowed he and the girl to escape." Rukia continues in the hospital waiting room, fingers clenched in the fabric of her dress as they wait to hear the prognosis.

"Alternate dimension?" Sado says in surprise. "Like the Arrancar's Garganta?"

"No, it was different. The boy had some sort of tool in his hand to control it," Rukia says, glancing worriedly at the door of Ichigo's room. "Do you think something is wrong?"

"He's had much worse than this," Ishida reminds her, adjusting his glasses. "You said you thought they were human?"

"Yes, I am sure of it," Rukia replies. "The girl...he called her 'Riruka' and I think his name might have been 'Yuki.'"

"What could they want with Ichigo?" Sado mutters and Ishida sighs, leaning against the back of his chair.

"She seemed quite adamant that she only wanted to 'borrow' him, not kill him," Rukia says, glancing at Ichigo's door again. "And I have no doubt she could have killed him if that was her objective, she completely blindsided me."

"It figures that Kurosaki manages to get into trouble even when he doesn't have po-" Ishida starts, but is cut off by the buzz of his cell phone.

"Inoue-san can't be here until tomorrow," he says, reading the text and then returning his phone to his pocket. "She was visiting relatives in Kobe."

"Why will they not allow us to see him?" Rukia frowns, barely listening. "I do not understand the point of this "family only" rule."

"He's not even conscious yet, Kuchiki-san," Ishida says, as if this is a valid reason for foolish human hospital policy and Rukia scowls.

The staff refuse to let Rukia in Ichigo's room no matter how many blatant lies she makes up, so she's forced to sneak in later that night.

"Oh, my _God_," Ichigo says weakly when she climbs in through the window. "Please tell me this is some drug-induced hallucination."

"Do you often have drug-induced hallucinations about me?" Rukia responds automatically, sliding into the chair next to his bedside.

Ichigo is pale, but he's sitting up, despite the fact that he must have had a large amount of stitches put in. But it's the defeated look in his eyes that worries Rukia the most and she knows she made the right decision by coming here.

"Bitch," Ichigo says in annoyance, glaring at her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Keeping you from doing something stupid," Rukia says seriously, crossing her arms over her chest and Ichigo looks away.

"Well," he says gruffly after a moment of awkward silence, still not looking at her. "What happened?"

Rukia tells him, omitting the part about her discovery of the Soul Society camera. She hasn't told anyone about that yet and she's not sure she's going to until she's thought it through. She's always known, of course, that eventually she would have to deal with the Soul Society, but she hadn't thought it would be so soon.

And there are so many questions. Who were they watching? Her or Ichigo? And how long have they been watching? A day? A week? A month? A year? Since Aizen's defeat? _Before_ Aizen's defeat? What do they know, and more importantly, what will they do now? She has no answers, but she knows telling Ichigo will only make things worse. He's already been brought to his knees today by forces he cannot control. He does not need another reminder of how helpless he is.

"So you have absolutely no idea who they were?" Ichigo says, scowling. "Great. Just great."

"I am more bothered by their objective," Rukia says meaningfully, eyeing Ichigo for his reaction.

Ichigo exhales loudly and then winces, hand coming to touch the front of his light blue hospital gown gingerly.

"It doesn't make any sense," he grumbles, but there's more of the increasingly-present blankness in his brown eyes than Rukia has ever wanted to see. "Why would they be interested in me, I'm...whatever."

"Obviously both of them had a high reiatsu level," Rukia says quickly, trying to distract him from the inevitable sourness. "They each carried an object that might be like a zanpakutou. I will have to ask Urahara-sama if he knows anything."

Ichigo rolls his eyes predictably. "Will you stop calling him that?"

Rukia ignores him, but does not leave. She stays with him through the night, resulting is some nostalgic antics to hide her presence from the hospital staff, and when she wakes with her head pillowed on the side of Ichigo's hospital bed to the disapproval of an irate nurse she is not particularly surprised.

"_You_ are not supposed to be here," she lectures and Rukia regrets not ditching her gigai before coming here, even though it would mean the apartment would be rubble by the time she returned. "Hospitals have rules for a reason, young lady and there's no excuse fo-"

"What the hell?" Ichigo groans, rubbing his eyes sleepily and looking between her and the nurse in confusion. "Uh..."

"And now you've woken my patient up," the nurse says in annoyance, though clearly Rukia had done nothing of the sort. "You need to leave, right this insta-"

"What, no, it's fine," Ichigo says, sitting up with a yawn. "I don't mind if she stays."

"Unfortunately, you do not make the rules here, Kurosaki-san," the nurse says acidly, folding her arms over her uniform. "Your girlfriend cannot spend the night here. It simply isn't proper."

"Uh, I am not actually his-" Rukia starts, startled by this assumption.

"My _what_?" Ichigo yelps, in the manner of a person reacting to the accusation of heinous crimes.

The nurse is not amused.

Fortunately, soon after Rukia is hustled out of the room, Inoue arrives and heals Ichigo's wounds while the nurse continues to lecture Rukia in the hallway about not letting delinquent young men take advantage of her while she, Sado, Arisawa, and Ishida desperately try to keep straight faces. The irony of this does not escape her.

"Thanks again, Inoue," Ichigo says, after they've all escaped from the hospital, rotating his shoulder backwards experimentally. "Sorry for messing up your trip."

"Oh, no, it's totally okay!" Inoue says quickly, smiling brightly. "I'll be glad to eat my own food again. My aunt's great, but her cooking is a little strange."

There is a long pause in which everyone besides Inoue tries to imagine such a situation.

"...right," Arisawa says, clearly trying to keep from laughing. "What was up with that nurse, Ichigo? She seemed totally crazy."

"You think I have a clue?" Ichigo says, rolling his eyes. "And don't get me started; she thought that Rukia was my _girlfriend_."

"Why do humans always think that?" Rukia asks, honestly puzzled. "I keep telling you, Ichigo, your modern culture is so oversexed."

_"Please _stop saying that," Ichigo groans bad-temperedly. "Just because you read it in a book somewhere doesn't make it tr-what?"

Their friends have stopped in their tracks, a mixture of resignation and amusement on their faces.

"You really..." Ishida starts and then rolls his eyes.

"I give up," Arisawa says throwing her hands in the air. "I really do."

"What are you talking about?" Ichigo frowns, looking just as confused as Rukia feels.

"Nothing," Sado replies, looking deeply amused. "So, Inoue, how was Kobe?"

"It was very hot!" Inoue says, but she looks guilty for some reason Rukia cannot make out. "I went all the way to the top of the Kobe Port Tower and the view was spectacular! I wanted to go to the zoo to see the panda, but I ran out of time and then..."

Rukia zones out as Inoue continues to chatter about her experiences in a city Rukia has never been to and focuses on the horrible numbness in Ichigo's eyes.

_"Two more weeks, Ichigo," _she thinks tightening her hold on the sword hidden in her tote bag. _"Two more weeks and you will not have to be powerless any longer."_

Ichigo makes an outraged face as Inoue describes the rude behavior her cousins exhibit towards her, but the expression doesn't reach his eyes.

_"You had better be right about this, Urahara_," Rukia thinks darkly and then turns her attention back to Inoue's story.

**A/N: Moar angst! I'm sure you're all very surprised. And wow, the previous part was popular! Thanks for your support, everyone. Next week will be a flashback, so please review!**


	10. Plunge

It's after Grimmjow's first attack that Rukia makes the decision. She thought that with her powers back she would be able to fight once more, but she can do nothing against Aizen's Espada. She is sick of being helpless and there is only one way to power she knows. She is not like Ichigo, who can achieve Bankai after a couple days training with Yoruichi-sama. She's not even sure Bankai is possible for her, and if it is at all, it will be decades before she reaches that level of power.

From what Ichigo doesn't say about his zanpakutou, Rukia can tell that they seem to get along pretty well. The same cannot be said for her Sode no Shirayuki. Sode no Shirayuki has never liked her and infuriatingly enough, never showed her even the tiniest bit of respect until she killed Kaien-dono.

She is cruel, arrogant, and demeaning, and every single Dance Rukia has managed to eke out of her came with strong resistance and a healthy dose of contemptuous and degrading remarks. Sode no Shirayuki may be one of the most beautiful zanpakutou in the Soul Society, but despite this (or perhaps because of it,) she has never been satisfied with her spectacularly average wielder. There is a reason Rukia has always preferred Kidou. Kidou has never mocked her failings or laughed at the tragedies of her life.

Bankai is unobtainable, further development of her sword's powers would take too long, and she has already mastered up to the 80s in Kidou. She will not be helpless. She cannot stand to be a burden on Ichigo or anyone else any longer. She needs power and there is only one fast way to obtain it. There is yet again only one path before her.

Urahara does not approve.

"I don't think you realize what you're asking, Kuchiki-san," he says, looking shocked as she kneels across from him in the backroom of his shop. "This is not something anyone has done _voluntarily._ The risks are astronomical."

"This is not a decision I have come to lightly, Urahara-sama," Rukia says firmly, fists pressed to the floor in her resolve. "But I find there to be no other alternative."

"I'm afraid I can't help you, Kuchiki-san," Urahara refuses, holding out his hands in front of him imploringly. "It was always a risk in Kurosaki-san's case, but to purposefu-"

"You. Owe. Me." Rukia says furiously.

It's the first time she's acknowledged his betrayal of her and it has the desired effect and stops him right in his tracks. Rukia didn't want to resort to this, honestly thought that he'd welcome the opportunity to acquire yet another test subject, but it appears that he's guiltier about his attempt to destroy the Hougyoku than she thought and she'll take advantage of that if she must.

Urahara seems shocked into speechlessness, something she's never seen happen to him in all twenty years that she's known him. For a long moment, he considers her, something like shame bleeding into his usually enigmatic expression.

"Kuchiki-san," he says softly, as close as she's ever heard him to pleading before. "You'll never be able to go back. Even if the war ends tomorrow and we are all pardoned by the Soul Society, they'll never take you back. I don't think you want that. You loved being a shinigami."

Rukia can't feel even an ounce of pity for him. Even as he pleads for her soul, all she can hear is her own voice, begging for Ichigo's life in the summer rain.

"I did," Rukia agrees coldly. "I really did. But that is irrelevant now. I need power to fight in this war and you are going to give it to me. I told you, did I not, all those years ago, that I would give my life to be of use to you. Why not my soul?"

"Have you talked to Kurosaki-san about this?" he tries one last time, even though he must know Ichigo is in the midst of intensive training with the Vizards. "No...that's a stupid question, isn't it."

Rukia says nothing, not breaking eye contact with him for a second, fists pressed so hard to the tatami that there will surely be indentations in her knuckles when she finally rises.

"Alright," he acquiesces softly, turning his head away in shame. "You won't regret this?"

"I will not," Rukia says harshly, standing and following him further into the shop as he calls for Tsukabishi-san. "And neither will you."

"That's where you're wrong, Kuchiki-san," Urahara says sadly, adjusting his striped hat to fall further over his eyes. "I already do."

Ichigo goes nearly insane with rage when he's found out what she's done, and even the Vizards are disturbed by her _choice_ to allow a Hollow into her heart. The Soul Society might have forgiven her desertion in the light of Aizen's incredible power, but they will never forgive her this.

It's...a relief, in a way, to finally get closure from that part of her life. She really can never go back now, and now there's nothing else to do but to look towards the future.

**A/N: Flashback time! Any questions or comments, don't hesitate to review!**


	11. Status Quo

Two days after Ichigo leaves the hospital, he wakes up breathless with terror, reaching for a sword that is _not there_, for enemies that are not as gone as he thought, with Rukia's hand in his hair.

"Hey," she says, fingers tightening briefly for a second before she releases him and sits back in his desk chair next to his bed.

Ichigo shudders and closes his eyes, bringing up a hand to cover his eyes, trying to get his breathing under control.

"I keep telling you, Rukia," he mumbles, curling his toes into the sheets. "It's fucking weird to watch other people sleep."

"Yeah," Rukia says simply.

Ichigo turns his head to the side to look at her, once he's sure he's not going to freak out. She's brought her legs up so that she can rest her chin on her knees, so small that his desk chair, by all accounts average-sized, seems to overshadow her completely.

He closes his eyes again.

"Did I wake you up?" he mutters, fists clenching with how much he _hates _talking about this.

"You woke Kon up, actually," Rukia's voice comes softly. "And he freaked out and came running to me."

Ichigo lets out a dry laugh, even though the situation is anything but funny.

"_Rukia_," he says, because he _has_ to say, has to otherwise he'll explode. "I can't-"

"I know," Rukia says and he opens his eyes.

She's pressed her cheek to her left knee now, head tilted to the side toward him. Her eyes are sad, but there's no pity in them, because _of course_ she knows. Rukia always knows.

"Shit," Ichigo says and turns his face back up to the ceiling.

For a long time both of them say nothing, and Ichigo focuses on just breathing and feeling his heart rate go down.

"Hey," he says after a while, glancing at the clock which reads 3:51. "You should go to bed."

"I am not really tired," Rukia blatantly lies. She's looked totally exhausted these past few days, causing Ichigo to wonder what exactly her department store job is having her _do_.

"Oh, for God's sake," Ichigo groans, throwing back his comforter. "Get in here. You have work tomorrow, you know."

"You worry too much, Ichigo," Rukia complains, but gets in beside him anyway.

Ichigo's bed is not really made for two, but Rukia is so small that she's always been able to fit without much trouble. She curls on her side per usual, short hair falling so close to his face that he can smell her shampoo. Well, his shampoo that she steals from him because Rukia has no sense of private property. Probably something to do with living as a shinigami for so long.

"Ichigo," she mumbles just when he thinks she's fallen asleep, the sleeve of Yuzu's pajamas brushing against his wrist.

"Hm?"

"It'll get better."

Ichigo does not believe her.

She's gone when his alarm rings, despite the fact that he has to wake up more than an hour before she does because of his commute. Ichigo drags himself out of bed, makes himself some toast, and is unable to find his graphing calculator, to his great annoyance.

"KONNNN!" he shouts loudly, even though he hasn't looked anywhere else but his desk yet. He has no idea what Kon would want with his graphing calculator, but he has no idea what Kon wants with anything, so...

The stupid bastard is not answering, so Ichigo pulls open the door of Rukia's room, intent on finding him and grilling him.

"Hey, Rukia, get up, do you know whe-"

Rukia, however, is already up and in a state of extreme undress, naked to the waist, bra in one hand and pajama top in the other. For a second, they stare at each other.

"Have you seen, Kon?" Ichigo continues, after he gets over the initial surprise of Rukia actually having managed to find a bra with bunnies on it. "I think he might've stolen my graphing calculator."

"Oh, is _that_ your reaction, you asshole!" Rukia shouts in response and all but throws him out of her room. "Get out!"

"Oww, what the fuck?" Ichigo complains as she slams the door behind her.

"Knock before you enter a girl's room, fool!" Rukia shouts from behind the closed door. "Do you not have any sense?"

"Oh, please, you're not a girl, you're Rukia," Ichigo retorts and to his surprise, Rukia lets out a sharp bark of laughter in reply.

"I cannot argue with that," she says, pleased, and Ichigo can _hear_ the smirk in her voice. "However, do you not have somewhere to be?"

Ichigo looks at the clock. "Shit!"

He ends up finding his calculator stuck between the cushions of their ratty couch later that night and Rukia laughs at him, kicking him in the shin when he makes fun of her pathetic attempt at curry in response. Random nudity notwithstanding, it's a pretty normal day.

**A/N: Finally another Ichigo POV! I promise he'll show up more now. More flashbacks and angst to come! Please review!**


	12. Confessions in Limbo

"So what's up with the Soul Society?" he asks Rukia a couple weeks after Aizen's attack. They're in Urahara-san's underground training facility, trying to get a hold on their new found powers, resulting in Ichigo shattering every fake mountain into pieces and Rukia freezing the healing hot springs straight though. They're taking a break now, slumped against a large boulder, Zangetsu stuck in the earth beside him and Rukia looks surprised at the question.

"What do you mean?" she replies, wiping sweat off her brow, still clasping her white zanpakutou. It's strange to see her in shihakushou again, even stranger still to see her freeze things with her sword, but hey, it's been a strange couple months.

"You never talk about them," he says simply, kicking out his legs. "Everyone else does. Ishida has his grudge-justified, sure- Urahara-san and Yoruichi-san think they're morons for not seeing Aizen's plan sooner, and their crazy Vizard friends aren't exactly quiet about their hatred of shinigami. What did they mean about you being a noble anyway?"

Rukia cringes and stands.

"Oi," Ichigo says, realizing that maybe this is a sorer spot for Rukia than he'd thought. "Forget it, it's not really any of my busi-"

"The Kuchiki clan is one of the Four Great Noble Families," Rukia says calmly, her back to him. "The Soul Society is a lot more traditional than the Human World. The nobility make many of the decisions that your modern politicians make in your government. I was not born into the Kuchiki clan, I was adopted while I was still training to be a shinigami."

"Adopted?" Ichigo says, surprised, but he guesses it makes sense. She certainly doesn't _seem_ like a noble. "Nobles do that?"

"Usually not," Rukia sighs, and turns back towards him, a melancholy smile on her face, stretching her scarred cheek slightly. "I was told the reason for my adoption is that I resemble the deceased wife of the head of the Kuchiki clan."

"Oh, that's sort of-" Her words connect in his mind and Ichigo freezes, something like a cold hand gripping his heart. He looks at with her with wide eyes and abruptly begins to feel sick. Was she saying-Did he-

"Do not look like that, Ichigo," Rukia says, but there's something like defeat in her eyes. "It was not like you are thinking. Kuchiki Byakuya never once even looked at me in all twenty years I was a part of his household. I imagine my disappearance was more of an easing of a burden on him than anything else."

Ichigo frowns, relieved, but not sure how he feels about this Byakuya asshole. "Why'd he adopt you then?"

Rukia shrugs. "I never found out."

Rukia's always been secretive, and even after that she never talks about her past in the Soul Society. Though a little reticent at first, Yoruichi-san tells him a bit during his Bankai training and Hiyori won't fucking shut up about how much she hates shinigami when he's working with the Vizards two months later. Ichigo learns a lot of horrible things about the overly bureaucratic and ruthless Soul Society over his six month stint as a shinigami, making it even more of a puzzle as to why Rukia misses it so much.

He doesn't find out the whole story until two and a half years later, when he and Rukia finish moving into their new apartment. He knows Rukia a lot better then, has been able to translate her previously incomprehensible quirks into what they might mean for her past. Ichigo knows that despite her noble name, she grew up extremely impoverished, and thus when she tells ghosts about the Soul Society's peace and prosperity, she's probably lying. Sometimes he even suspects that she had to do things to survive that he would rather not think about. He knows she has a hard time making friends, and that she misses being a shinigami, even though she was miserable in the Soul Society. He knows she doesn't even remember being alive, that she's lost people she cared about, and doesn't talk about it for the same reason he doesn't talk about his mother.

Still, it isn't until they order ramen and eat it on the floor of their new kitchen, unopened boxes still piled everywhere, that they talk about the Soul Society once more.

"Do not waste your food," Rukia tells him disapprovingly when he puts down his bowl to get a drink from the fridge.

"I'm not wasting it, geez," Ichigo says, rolling his eyes. He pauses and thinks about what she just said.

"Hey," he says, drinking some green tea straight from the 2 liter bottle, eliciting absolutely no reaction from Rukia. "Do souls need to eat?"

Rukia gives him a strange look, pointing to her bowl. "Of course we do."

"But you're in a gigai."

Rukia rolls her eyes. "Fool, that makes no difference. If one has even the tiniest bit of spiritual power, it is necessary to eat."

Ichigo didn't know that part. "What happens if you don't?"

A closed expression comes over Rukia's face like a window being slammed shut and her hands tighten around her bowl. "You starve."

Oh. So that's how it was.

"Do you miss the Soul Society?" Ichigo asks abruptly, putting the bottle back in their still mostly empty refrigerator.

Rukia frowns. "What kind of question is that?"

Ichigo shrugs. "I just wondered."

She continues to look at him strangely and Ichigo realizes that this is the first time they've talked about the supernatural in months. It's been easier that way, not to have to think about what's left a hole where his heart used to be. But this is _Rukia_ and she's important, and Ichigo wants to know.

Rukia looks down at her bowl and doesn't say anything for a long while. Ichigo doesn't sit back down beside her though and watches the struggle play out over her face.

"Sometimes," she says finally, tapping her fingernail against the ceramic bowl idly. "I miss being part of something greater than myself. I miss having a purpose."

Ichigo's throat goes dry and something in his chest _hurts_ at how close her words hit home.

Rukia takes another sip of her ramen and sighs, still looking at the wall instead of at him. "But...when the Kuchiki clan adopted me...it was different. People treated me different. My only friend stopped talking to me."

Her mouth twists in a parody of a smile. "Kuchiki...it is not really my name, but it is as good as any other, I suppose. I have no other to use in its place, in any case."

Ichigo just stands there and watches her sip her ramen, aware that she is not finished yet. After a minute, Rukia puts down her bowl and adjusts her gaze to the floor.

"I killed my vice-captain."

Shock flares through Ichigo like a white hot knife. "What?"

"It was part of one of Aizen's experiments, though I did not know that at the time. Aizen arranged for my vice-captain to be possessed by a Hollow," Rukia says calmly, in that emotionless voice that means she's anything but. "I had to kill him. It was when I was taking his body back to his family that I saw Aizen for a split second, in the shadows, watching. There was nothing left to stay for after that."

"You..." Ichigo starts slowly, without any sort of idea what to say.

Rukia looks up at him again and smiles sadly. "Do not look like that, Ichigo," she says again. "I cannot go back, and I am much happier here anyway."

Even with no purpose, even with the scars she hides under her gigai: the slash on her cheek, the teeth marks of the first Hollow Ichigo'd ever fought running down the top and back of her shoulder and all across her abdomen, Rukia still finds the strength to stand tall and look forward.

He's powerless now, of course, but Rukia is still with him, still props him up so he can stand tall. If she can do it, then he'll walk in her footsteps like he's always done and maybe, just maybe, things can be okay for them.

**A/N: And the angst continues! I'm sure you're all very surprised. Please review!**


	13. Fissure and Split

"Foolish ingrate!" Sode no Shirayuki says viciously, her beautiful face twisted in contempt. "What have you _done_?"

Rukia ignores her, as usual, and instead focuses on the other person in the snowy landscape. Her Hollow.

It looks exactly like her, except all white, almost blending in with the snow, and it eyes her lazily from where its spread out on a flat rock next to a patch of pine trees.

"Hey," it says with an evil grin. "Nice digs you got here. Pity about the sun though." It gestures up at the clear blue sky and bright sun. "But we'll soon get rid of that."

"You common_ whore_," Sode no Shirayuki snarls, the deep red of her lips a snark contrast against the white of her skin and teeth. "Look what you have brought into my world! It took us almost forty years to get that sun and now you throw it away for this monstrosity!"

"For power," Rukia replies coldly. "It is my choice and no concern of yours. _I_ will deal with it."

She glances up at the sun, though, feeling its warmth on her face. It is true that the sun is new. Before, the sky was always covered in a thick layer of dark clouds. When things were particularly bad it would storm, and lightning bolts and heavy winds would buffet the trees and cliffs, making her inner world an almost unbearable place to visit. There are no more blizzards now though, and instead a bright sun shines pleasantly down upon the winter scene and when it snows, it is always light and gentle. Rukia knows the reason for this, but she cannot think on it. There are more important things to worry about now.

She draws her blade and assumes her fighting stance, facing the Hollow with determination.

"Ahhhh," the Hollow says, pillowing its head back under its arms, white shihakushou stretching with the movement. "Booooring. I don't really want to fight you, you know."

Rukia blinks, uncertain. The Vizards had told her that she would have to battle her inner Hollow to be able to control it, but she never expected it to _not want _ to fight.

"Kill the vile intruder, if you are to be anything but worthless," Sode no Shirayuki hisses, gesturing furiously, her kimono sleeves billowing out behind her. "I will not have it here!"

"Oh, shut up!" Rukia says, rolling her eyes. There was a time that she was once both terrified and deferential to her zanpakutou's will, but that was before she realized what a bitch she was.

"You will show me some respect, filthy wretch!" Sode no Shirayuki responds, crossing her arms over her exquisitely embroidered, pure white uchikake. A gust of wind surges through Rukia's inner world, blowing her long, loose hair backwards.

She is the pinnacle of traditional feminine beauty, with her long, inky black hair, red lips, pale skin, high cheekbones, and mature form, hidden under her many layered kimono of course. When Rukia was younger, she used to envy her almost as much as she envied Miyako-dono. Even now, Rukia can appreciate her beauty, even though her admiration for her sword has all but disappeared.

"I am not here for you," Rukia says, focusing all her attention on her Hollow. "You are a nuisance."

She attacks before her zanpakutou can respond and her Hollow parries, flying backwards to land lightly in the snow.

"Do we _really_ have to do this?" her Hollow complains, rolling its yellow and black eyes. "I'd much rather fight on my own terms. Being at your beck and call all the time doesn't really sound like much fun."

"Too bad!" Rukia hisses. "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki!"

Her Hollow dodges the cylinder of ice with ease and launches itself at Rukia without warning. Their blades clash against each other, Rukia's white, the Hollow's black and Rukia is shocked at the strength behind its swings. It nicks her right thigh and Rukia jumps backward to assess to the situation.

"See, why don't we just leave it at that?" her Hollow says, shaking its head patronizingly. "Or even better, we can come to some sort of agreement."

Rukia frowns. "What sort of agreement?"

It grins evilly. "I'll lend you power and you...well, you'll let me loose on some of those...mmm, delicious friends of yours. Oh, I won't kill them," it says at Rukia's look of horror. "Just, oh, the look on their _faces_." It squirms its hips around lewdly and Rukia is so shocked she doesn't even know what to say.

"That orange haired one you like so much, _ugh_, I can just see his expression now," it continues licentiously. "Or the girl with those _delectable _breasts. I'd _love _to rip them off."

"Enough!" Rukia shouts, disgusted, raising her sword and throws herself into the fight again.

She wins, but barely. Her Hollow disappears with its screams of rage ringing in her ears for a long time after that and gasping for breath, Rukia turns to Sode no Shirayuki, spitting out a mouthful of blood onto the snow.

"I told you," she says hoarsely, sticking her sword in the snow and leaning on it for support. "I _told_ you I would take care of it. I did."

Sode no Shirayuki gives her a disdainful look. "Ch," she says, jerking her beautiful head away and Rukia smirks before everything dissolves. She opens her eyes to see Muguruma Kensei leaning over her, his zanpakutou slung over his shoulder.

"Huh," he says idly. "Guess you're one of us now, shinigami."

"You should probably learn my name then," Rukia says weakly and she thinks she sees Hirako Shinji scowl before she passes out.

**A/N: I admit I had way too much fun writing Sode no Shirayuki. I just got bored of her being portrayed so nicely in fanfiction. Also, I haven't seen the anime adaptation in which she apparently appears, so any similarities are coincidental. This will probably be jossed eventually, but so worth it! (Yes, I am a horrible person.) **

**Next week will be more Ichigo! Please review! **


	14. Stopgap

Ichigo gets out early on Thursdays and he's trying to get some homework done before Rukia comes home later that afternoon while Kon keeps distracting him, when someone knocks on his door.

"Fuck, did Rukia forget to pay the rent _again_?" Ichigo scowls and throws Kon into Rukia's room. "Stay there, moron. And if you so much as _touch_ Rukia's clothes or anything, I will feed you to that dog across the street."

"Unfair!" Kon shouts and Ichigo opens the front door quickly.

"Tatsuki?"

She's in her usual denim shorts and jersey, but there's something about her posture that suggests she's extremely uncomfortable. Ichigo frowns in confusion.

"Hey, Ichigo," she says, smile oddly brittle. "Mind if I come in?"

"Uh, sure," he says, stepping back to let her inside. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"No, thanks."

She looks at him strangely, as if he was the one who showed up with no notice at his apartment and frowns.

"Wow," she says, looking surprised. "I guess Asano didn't tell you after all. I underestimated him."

"Keigo didn't tell me what?" Ichigo says in confusion, noting how pale Tatsuki is. He shuts the door behind her and suddenly wonders if something has _happened_.

Tatsuki sighs and runs a shaking hand through her shoulder length hair. "You're going to find out anyway, so I figured it should probably come from me," she says, more serious than he's seen her in a while. "So I guess I'll just say it. I'm gay."

Ichigo stares.

"And I've sort of been sleeping with Chizuru."

Ichigo stares some more.

"Well," Tatsuki says, swallowing and crossing her arms over her chest uncomfortably. "Say something."

"Er..." Ichigo says, throat going dry, trying to put it all together in his mind. "Okay...wait, _Honshou_? Don't you _hate _her?"

"Apparently not," Tatsuki says dryly, letting out a uncomfortable laugh. "But Asano found out and we all know how that's going to end."

"Oh," Ichigo says.

Will this change things, he wonders, looking at her closely. After all, Tatsuki is his oldest friend and this is kind of a huge deal. On the other hand, Tatsuki dating girls is just about as weird as when she was dating guys and Ichigo's never thought of himself as prejudiced anyway.

"Well, okay," he says awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm sorry."

Tatsuki raises an eyebrow. "You're sorry?"

Crap, that didn't come out right. "Uh, no, I mean, I'm...I don't care, it's fine. But other people..."

"Don't hurt yourself now," Tatsuki says with a grin, her shoulders relaxing. "Orihime knows, but that's about it. I wasn't really planning on telling anyone, but then Asano..." She sighs, bringing a shaking hand up to run it through her hair. "But you're my oldest friend, so I thought you should hear it from me."

Ichigo makes a mental note to call Keigo and threaten him with grave bodily harm if he breathes a word of Tatsuki's secret to anyone. He's never seen her so shaken up in all the years he's known her, and she doesn't deserve the scandal Keigo's love for gossip would cause.

"Do your parents..." he asks carefully, after a brief pause and Tatsuki sighs.

"No," she says with a sad smile that is just so _wrong_ on her face that it makes Ichigo want to punch someone. "You'd think they'd have figured it out by now, as I'm a walking stereotype, but they're completely clueless. I'm not sure I ever will tell them. Certainly not any time soon. I don't think they would react well."

"I'm sorry," Ichigo offers, lamely, wishing there was something more he could say. But there's nothing he can do to fix this, so he keeps his mouth shut.

"It's alright," she says with a grin that doesn't quite reach her eyes. "I just...thanks, you know." To his utter horror, her eyes look a bit wet and she blinks rapidly before continuing. "For not freaking out."

"I wouldn't-" Ichigo says frantically, shocked and unsettled by the out of character emotion on her face. "I mean, we're friends, you know. Something like that would _never_ be a problem."

Tatsuki nods tightly, seeming not to trust herself to speak.

"I won't tell anyone either," Ichigo adds quickly, hoping this is enough to wipe the lost and sad expression off her face.

It is. Tatsuki rolls her eyes at him. "Alright, alright, _now_ you're freaking out," she says annoyingly, and therefore sounding a lot more like herself. "Stoppit."

Bitch. And here he was trying to be nice.

"So..." Ichigo says in retaliation, crossing his arms over his chest. "Honshou?"

Tatsuki glares at him. "I refuse to talk about that," she says tightly, and then, inexplicably, smirks, "I guess it could be worse though. I could be in love with a dead girl."

Ichigo blinks. "That's...oddly specific."

Tatsuki gives him a exasperated look.

"What?"

"Look, Ichigo," she says determinedly, putting her hands on her hips in the way that has always meant bad news. "I opened up with you, now you gotta open up with me, that's how it works. I know you're in love with Kuchiki-san. It's really, _really _obvious."

Ichigo gapes at her. "What?" he yelps, his voice jumping an octave embarrassingly. "What are you _talking_ about?"

"We're not _blind_, you know," Tatsuki says, looking annoyed. "I mean, come on. When even crazy psychotic mass-murders comment on it, you _know_ there has to be something there."

"You trust _Aizen_ over _me_?" Ichigo says disbelievingly. "And what do you mean by _we_? Who else thinks that?"

"Oh, c'mon, even you're not that stupid, Ichigo," Tatsuki continues inexplicably. "You've never even looked at any other girl besides Kuchiki-san. I know for a fact that there were girls in high school who liked you, naming no names mind you, who were a lot prettier and not exactly lacking in the chest department and you never even _noticed_."

This is news to Ichigo. "What? _Who_?"

Tatsuki scowls at him. "Stop changing the subject," she orders, channeling her inner karate instructor. "And stop denying it. You two are attached at the hip! You _live _together. She slept in your bed when we had that party a couple weeks ago, for God's sake!"

"Because there was _no room anywhere else_!" Ichigo explains, feeling his face heat up in mortification. He cannot believe that Tatsuki's actually serious about this.

"Uh huh, and sleeping on the floor is absolutely out of the question for someone our age," Tatsuki says logically. "Look, you don't have to admit it or whatever, but your pussyfooting around is starting to piss everyone off. You're going to have to be the one to make the first move, because obviously _she_ won't. So just, you know, do that and stop tormenting the rest of us with your unresolved sexual tension."

Ichigo stares at her with uncomprehending horror and Tatsuki groans and hides her face in her hands.

"Honestly," she says, exasperated. "You two are so...Even Tsukishima-san says-"

"Who's Tsu-" Ichigo starts, but he doesn't get to find out what this random person has to say about his and Rukia's relationship because then his phone rings and it's Inoue calling to tell them that Ishida's been attacked.

**A/N: Attack of the plot! I knew it was around here somewhere. I promise things will start to speed up now. Please review!**


	15. Tipping Point

By the time the Soul Society gets another camera on Rukia's tail, the situation has changed so much that Renji isn't even sure what's going on anymore. Rukia's friends have been attacked one by one by an unknown enemy, leaving some in the hospital, like her roommate and the guy in the glasses, and the three other strangely unharmed. But it isn't until the others mention some guy named Tsukishima that Rukia seems to realize something.

"Tsuki...shima?" she repeats, eyes unnaturally wide.

Her brown-haired friend smiles at her and offers her another cookie from a tin. Rukia declines.

"Yeah, I was thinking of calling up Tsukishima-san," the girl says, offering the tin to the dark-skinned big guy and the karate girl before sitting down at the table in her small kitchen beside them. "He always knows what to do."

"That's actually not a bad idea," the big guy rumbles, a cup of steaming tea dwarfed in his large hands. "This seems like exactly the sort of thing Tsukishima-san would know how to deal with."

"That's what I told Ichigo the other day, but he didn't have any clue what I was talking about," the karate girl complains, rolling her eyes in exasperation. "Honestly, that guy...forgetting his own cousin! I'm surprised he even manages to find his way down the street some days."

"Mou, Tatsuki-chan, that's mean!" the brown-haired girl protests, but Rukia isn't paying attention, her eyes still widened in horror.

"Kuchiki-san?" the big guy asks, concerned. "Is there something wrong?"

Rukia opens her mouth and closes it, looking completely thrown.

"I...who is-" She stops, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening them again. "No, I...I have to go."

She gets up slowly, staring at them all as if she barely recognizes them anymore, backing away towards the door.

"Kuchiki-san?" karate girl says, starting to get up. "Are you okay?"

"Yes!" Rukia bursts out, obviously lying. "Yes, I just remembered...I have to go."

"I'll come with you," the big guy says, starting to rise from his seat. "None of us should be walking around alone if someone's targeting us."

"No! I am fine!" Rukia says quickly, stumbling to get her shoes on fast enough. "Do not bother, I will just...just stay here, alright! It might be nothing but I must...I will call you, yes?"

She flies out of the room before any of them have a change to reply, taking her gikon pill out of her bag as she runs down the stairs of the brown-haired girl's apartment building. She separates from her gigai quickly and then leaps up onto a nearby telephone poll.

"Go home!" she instructs the gikon, looking panicked. "When Ichigo comes, tell him...I do not care, make something up."

"Rukia-sama," the gikon says, blinking up at her with its wide Rukia eyes. "Are you alright, pyon?"

"Go!" Rukia hisses in reply and then she's in shunpo again and the green haired girl curses.

"Why don't they make these things any faster?" she mutters as the camera lags behind, scribbling down more notes.

"Budget cuts," the kid in the glasses says darkly.

"Please, like you know," pigtailed girl says disdainfully. "You're just saying that because Kurotsuchi-taich-"

"Oi," Renji says from the back of the small, dark room, pointing at the screen.

Rukia has run into the glasses guy on a rooftop and Renji curses the camera's slowness as they talk for a few seconds without audio.

"...hospital?" Rukia is saying, hands on her sword.

"Inoue-san healed me," glasses guys replies, frowning at her wariness and there's something wrong with this picture, but Renji can't seem to place it.

"Tsukishima," Rukia says without preamble.

"Who?"

Rukia lets out a gasp of relief and reaches up to cover her scarred face with a shaking hand.

"Kuchiki-san?" glasses guy says worriedly, looking at her carefully. "Are you alright?"

"Tsukishima," Rukia repeats. "He is the one behind it. The one who attacked you, Inoue, Chad, and probably Arisawa as well."

Glasses guy looks shocked. "How-"

"He has done something to them," Rukia hisses. "Messed with their memories somehow. They think he is their _friend_!"

Glasses guy's eyes widen and he says something, but Renji never hears what because the tiniest member of the surveillance team suddenly realizes what's wrong with this situation.

"Hey," he says, dropping his papers on the table in front of the monitor in shock. "He can _see_ her?"

"She's in shinigami form!" the green haired girl shouts and dives for another stack papers. "He knows who she is? But I thought-"

"Shut up!" Renji snaps, just as shocked as the rest of them, but more interested in what is happening on the screen.

The surveillance team falls silent at his words and turns back to the screen.

"Where's Kurosaki?" glasses guy is saying.

"He is at his father's clinic, helping out," Rukia replies, waving a hand at him impatiently. "He should be safe there. I was going to see Urahara-sama-"

"CONFIRMATION!" pigtailed girl shouts, making a grab for another huge folder, but Renji is too shocked by the current developments to properly react to true confirmation that Rukia is involved with the infamous Urahara Kisuke.

"Quiet!" everyone else yells.

"We don't have time for that!" glasses guy grits his teeth. "If they've gotten to Inoue-san and everyone, we have to move fast. They'll be after us next. I don't know why my memories haven't been changed, but we know their goal is Kurosaki. We have to confront them before this gets any worse."

Rukia looks like she wants to protest, but then a determined look comes over his face, one Renji hasn't seen since they were children.

"Right," she says, crossing her arms over her chest in that inherently masculine way that comes from growing up with four other boys. "What is your plan, Ishida?"

"I've been hearing strange rumours about Naruki City lately," Ishida says. "We should start there. But, Kuchiki-san," he continues seriously. "If they've gotten to everyone else, _especially_ Sado-kun and Inoue-san, we have to seriously think about the possibility that we might have to go through them as well."

Renji stares. From the way he worded it, it sounds like-but it can't be-"Wait...is he saying..."

"_They_ have spiritual power too!" glasses surveillance team member interrupts loudly. "What the _hell_? Who are these people?"

Rukia and the Ishida kid leap to the next building, even the kid moving at a speed no ordinary human could match. They quickly fade out of sight and Renji curses under his breath.

"Don't worry, we have a good handle on Kuchiki's reiatsu," the green-haired says quickly, running over to the control panel in front of the screen and messing with some buttons. "We can track her."

"Right," Renji says, rising from his seat. "This is getting out of control. You," he says, pointing to the tiny kid. "Stay here with her. The rest of you come with me and bring the last ten minutes of the tape."

"Abarai-taichou, we have to report this to our captain fir-"

"Idiots!" Renji says harshly and they cower a little. "There's no time for that! Didn't you hear what they said? They're having a confrontation _now_ and if we're going to do anything about it, we have to get this information to the Head Captain before that happens! Now come!"

At the time, Renji honestly isn't thinking of the consequence of this simple action. He thinks about Rukia in danger, about the threat of Urahara Kisuke, these not-so normal after all human friends of hers, and even this mysterious "Tsukishima". He is so sick of inaction, of watching Rukia's inexplicable life go by, and so he acts before he thinks it through.

Later, he'll wonder what exactly he started.

**A/N: More plot! And yes I had to cut it off there, because I ship cliffhangers/myself. Or maybe cliffhangers/you. All I know is that the cliffhangers are definitely on top. And, no, I can't believe I made that joke either. Please review!**


	16. Acceptance

Ichigo doesn't know exactly how it happened. It doesn't help that it took him a long time to realize it, but when he finally takes the time to think back he guesses it started around the time he'd fought that insane serial-killing Hollow to save Chad's parakeet.

At first Rukia was nothing but a nuisance, a drain on his free time, yet another secret he had to keep, but this time from his family as well. She was always jabbering on about shinigami and Hollows, and honestly, Ichigo wished she would just get her powers back and take a hike.

Then she'd let a Hollow use her like a goddamn practice target and when he'd finally come after dropping Karin off back at home, she'd looked up at him, covered in blood and bruises, and _smiled_. Ichigo was...well, he was pretty pissed, furious that she would do this _again_, and scared at how close she'd come to death, but a small part of him thought, _"oh"_.

That was how it started.

It only intensified after that. He started actually _liking _being a shinigami, but once he got used to her presence, everything changed. Aizen came for her, and Ichigo still has nightmares about the way her voice sounded when she'd begged for his life that night. Rukia has always tried to protect him and after Aizen gutted her like a fish and Ichimaru tried to kill her (and would have if not for Urahara-san and Yoruichi-san's interference), Ichigo swore that he'd get strong enough to return the favor.

Obviously, he knew she was a girl. Or maybe he didn't. But even if the former was true, the fact remains that she's hardly the type of girl guys went crazy over. (Kon didn't count.) She's small, skinny, and _bony_. Even without the scarring, she has a rather unremarkable face and could probably be mistaken as a boy from far away. Ichigo truly doesn't find her attractive one way or another. But still, he wonders if it's possible to be attracted to someone without thinking they're attractive.

Because first and foremost, she's Rukia. And even though it took him a while to realize it, he knows now that it was _always_ going to be Rukia. _Obviously_ it was going to be Rukia, because, really, who else would it be?

He doesn't give much thought to her side of the story, but if he had to hazard a guess he would probably say his...feelings, or whatever, are unrequited. She's a lot older than him, after all, and though Ichigo knows she doesn't think of him as a kid, there's still a large gap between them. For reasons that he can guess at, though sometimes he wishes he couldn't, Rukia has never shown any hint of romantic interest in anyone, not even in abstraction. At first he'd thought it was because of her age, but then he'd met other ex-shinigami, which quickly proved that hypothesis false. She just isn't interested. More importantly, she's not interested in him. Rukia has never seemed to need him as much as he needs her, and part of him wonders if what happened two and a half years ago was only because she knew how he felt about her.

But whatever. It doesn't matter. Three years later and he gets to see Rukia everyday, he _lives_ with her, and Ichigo's never felt a particular compunction to confess his feelings. What would he even _say? _He can't imagine ever having that conversation with her, even feels sick at the thought of trying to tell her what she means to him. She'd probably just stare at him with wide eyes, completely confused. She might laugh at the ridiculousness of it, or worse, she might feel like she couldn't trust him anymore. Ichigo never wants to see anyone look at him the way Inoue and Ishida had in Hueco Mundo again. He wants to protect so many people, and one of them is Rukia. He'd never want to make her feel uncomfortable or unsafe in her own home, and if he has to protect her from his own feelings, so be it.

And it's not like he's exactly pining away or anything, like in the movies. There's a lot of things he wants that he can't have. He wants his powers, he wants his mother back, he wants his friends' loneliness to disappear. The fact that he wants Rukia, wants to be able to kiss her, for her to feel the same helpless longing he feels for her is no different. A child knows you can't get everything you want, and Ichigo hasn't been a child in a long time. He accepts it and moves on.

Besides, he _likes_ their status quo, as unhealthy as it probably is, and Ichigo's never been good at even platonic relationships. This is safer, _easier_, and he wouldn't know what to do even if she did return his feelings. Ichigo's loved her for a long time now and he's okay with it never going anywhere. He realizes that that's supremely fucked up, but he can't change how he feels.

Other people, like his stupid dad, keep telling him that he should make more of an effort to meet girls and go on dates, but the fact of the matter is that Ichigo doesn't _want _anyone else. Even if he could find someone who could understand what he's been through and didn't think ghosts and monsters were merely children's tales, Ichigo isn't interested. It's just...it's just Rukia. It seems ridiculous to even think it, but he thinks it's only ever going to be Rukia. Before he'd met her...he'd never really...Keigo used to joke he was asexual, and though Ichigo'd always responded with a swift elbow to the gut, part of him wondered, maybe...

She's the only person he's ever really wanted. And, yeah, maybe it makes him a coward, but he'd rather never say a word about how he truly feels about her and be by her side than have someone else.

They're friends and they share an apartment now and sometimes Ichigo wonders about how weird it _isn't_. To anyone else, his life would be absolutely _insane_, but Ichigo can't imagine it happening any other way. It's ridiculous, he's been throwing himself in death's path since he was fifteen, fought so many battles, been cut to pieces so many times, fought arguably the most power person on the planet and _won_ and now...

Now his powers are gone and sometimes he wakes up in the morning and can barely drag himself out of bed. Sometimes he'll be doing something completely ordinary, like riding the train or listening to a lecture and he'll _remember_, and then it's like he can't breathe. None of it would've happened if he hadn't met Rukia, but then he thinks about how empty life was before he met her and thinks that no matter how miserable he is now, he can't regret it.

She lived in his _closet_, for God's sake. At least now she has her own room. It's not weird. For Ichigo, it's the closest thing to normality he has in a life without the power to protect those most important to him.

It's a good thing he doesn't find her pretty though, because otherwise he might have a hard time living with her sometimes. Like sometimes when she falls asleep on their ratty couch, her hair spread out over the cushions, pale collarbones exposed above the collar of her dress and skirt hiked up enough to reveal a lot more leg than he's used to seeing from her. Or the fact that her bed is perpendicular to his against the wall that separates their rooms, and he can hear every sigh and murmur she makes in her sleep through the thin plaster. Or how she curls up into herself next to him whenever they share a bed, so small and fragile-looking that Ichigo wants nothing more than to wrap his arms around her and pull her close into his chest.

But he doesn't think about it often. There's school and work and having to wake up everyday without his sword. Powerlessness is like a fog that dulls and blurs everything else, leaving his emotions a jumbled up mess that he does not have the inclination to sort through.

To be honest, it's probably better that way. He fears what he might find.

It's why Tatsuki's words shock him so much. Because he doesn't think about it, he _doesn't._ He can't, because if he does, everything he's built over the past three years will crumbles to pieces. There's no possible way it can end well, and he decided long ago that it's just not worth it.

But then his friends start getting attacked, his sisters' memories have been messed with, and everything starts to crumble anyway.

And then there's only one thing he can do.

**A/N: So, yeah, sorry I didn't continue the cliffhanger from last part. But I'd like to think it was worth it. Please review!**


	17. Jump Start

Four hours after the new developments on Rukia's surveillance feed, the captains of the Soul Society have gathered once again to discuss the problem of Urahara Kisuke and his cohorts in the human world, and Renji is about to rip his hair out at their lackadaisical attitude. They seem more preoccupied with the recent disappearances in the Rukongai than the events in the human world, and while Renji understands that the disappearances are a problem, he can't help but feel Rukia's situation is more immediate. Unfortunately, he can't really say anything as he is not only one of the more junior captains, but he also ruffled more than a few feathers by ignoring the chain of command when bringing the new developments straight to Yamamoto-soutaichou. He can feel Kurotsuchi-taichou's piercing glare on him as he shifts impatiently from foot to foot and makes a mental note not to send any of his people anywhere remotely close to the Twelfth Division barracks any time soon.

"I see no point in making any move until we have more information," Komamura-taichou says once they finally get back on topic, yellow eyes narrowed at the picture of Rukia and Ishida on the screen in the Division One headquarters. "We didn't even know that these humans had spiritual power until today! They are probably all Urahara's people and who knows who this other group is?"

"They don't seem to be interested in the Soul Society, true," Kyouraku-taichou observes, throwing a worried glance at a sickly-looking Ukitake-taichou, who should have probably taken the day off.

"Yet," Soifon-taichou mutters rebelliously. "We should deal with them before they become a threat. Urahara and the other exiles too. This is getting ridiculous; we should have retrieved Kuchiki the second we found her instead of this farce."

Renji finds himself agreeing with the unpleasant Second Division captain, to his great surprise.

"Our best bet would probably be to go now then," Renji says, as politely and calmly as possible. "After all, they'r-"

"Oh, shut up, Abarai," Kurotsuchi-taichou says nastily. "You're not fooling anyone. Everyone knows that you're an old friend of Kuchiki's. You would do well to remember that your loyalty is to the Soul Society, not to her!"

"_Excuse_ me?" Renji starts furiously, though at what he's not even sure himself.

"That's quite enough, Kurotsuchi," Yamamoto-soutaichou barks, slamming his cane loudly against the floor once. "You're out of line!"

Kurotsuchi-taichou scowls, but does not argue. Yamamoto-soutaichou turns to Renji and eyes him thoughtfully though, and Renji tries not to look suspicious.

"Technically, Kuchiki's associates are human..." Rangiku-san cuts in, crossing her arms over her ample chest. "And if they're being attacked by unknown assailants with spiritual power..."

Renji throws her a grateful look and she smiles back at him tightly.

"Our job is to jump in and rescue them?" Zaraki-taichou says with a laugh. "Don't be stupid. I'm all for a good fight, but that's not going to be the way it plays out."

"Are we really going to sit back and do nothing though?" Hitsugaya-taichou asks, looking bored and Renji guesses the only reason he's speaking up is for his former vice-captain's sake. "We've been doing surveillance for more than a month now and-"

There is a loud knock on the door that cuts him off and Renji immediately feels his heart jump into his throat. If something's happened...if Rukia's...

"Come in!" Yamamoto-soutaichou orders and the door opens, revealing the green-haired surveillance member.

"P-Please excuse my interruption," she gasps for breath, bending over in a low bow, clutching a small disk in both hands. "I...there's been another..."

"Speak up!" Yamamoto-soutaichou says, not particularly kindly and although the girl has always seemed like kind of a gossip, Renji finds himself feeling bad for her anyway.

"There's been another development..." she starts again, still out of breath. "You, really, _really_ need to see this."

She looks so earnest and as she steps forward to place the disk inside its port after Yamamoto-soutaichou nods, Renji worries that the entire room can hear the loud thumping of his heart.

There's a blurriness of tree branches when the video starts, but the lens quickly clears to reveal the location as a forest at night. The camera dodges a flying branch and slithers forward in the air toward a clearing where the unmistakable sounds of battle are coming from.

"...n't want to fight you!" the big guy is saying in anguish, right arm transformed into some kind of weapon. He and the brown-haired girl are faced off against Rukia and Ishida, both of whom look more than a little worn.

"Fools," Rukia gasps, holding her side painfully. "Out of our way!"

"Why do you want to hurt Tsukishima-san?" the brown-haired girl asks, tears in her eyes. "How could you forget how much he's helped us?"

"You're not in your right mind, Inoue-san!" Ishida shouts and a blue light bursts forward from his arm, forming a bow.

"Ho," Kurotsuchi-taichou says in surprise. "A Quincy. That's something I haven't seen in a long time."

Renji neither knows nor cares what a Quincy is, but instead focuses on the pained look on Rukia's face and her weak grip on her already released zanpakutou.

"You should really give it up, Kuchiki-san, Ishida-kun," a man's voice says and a second later its owner emerges from a patch of trees. He's thin, pale, and Renji has never seen him before on camera, but by the furious looks on Rukia and Ishida's faces, they know him.

"Bastard," Rukia hisses, face contorted in fury. "Undo what you have done!"

"He hasn't done anything!" the karate girl runs out from behind the pale man, her fists surrounded by rings of_ fire. _"Why are you acting like this?"

"Hurry it up, Tsukishima," another voice says from the trees and six more people emerge from the forest. Renji recognizes the pigtailed girl who attacked Rukia's roommate, but the rest of them are new faces. A small blond boy wearing a heavy coat, a teenager with a strange haircut, a tall dark skinned woman, a man with an eye patch, and the speaker, a man with a large sword and an eerie grin.

"It can't be!" Yamamoto-soutaichou says and Renji tears his eyes away from the screen to see the shocked look on the Head Commander's face.

"Is that..." Ukitake-taichou starts disbelievingly. "_Ginjou_?"

"Who's-" Renji starts, but Kyouraku-taichou shushes him.

"Ginjou-san, you're hurt!" the brown-haired girl says and she rushes forward, something flying from the hairpins pinned on her collar. It encircles the gash on Ginjou's arm in a yellow bubble and the wound disappears faster than any Kidou could ever manage.

"That's..." Unohana-taichou says with a frown. "...not a healing spell. Interesting."

"Inoue-san, don'-" Ishida starts, but cuts himself off and fires a blue bolt at Tsukishima, who easily dodges it and in an arc of blood, his sword makes contact with Ishida's shoulder.

"Ishi-" Rukia shouts as he falls, but then Ginjou slams her into the trunk of a nearby tree with only the air pressure from his blade.

"You..." Ishida gasps from the ground, glasses broken against a rock. "Why are you doing this?"

"You're not giving us any choice!" the karate girl shouts furiously, eyes bright with tears. "What is _wrong _with you?"

"Ah, the truth is they're just a little too smart for their own good," Ginjou says, sauntering over to Rukia and brings his foot down hard on her ribs.

Rukia gives a cry of pain and tries to swing her sword at him, but Ginjou kicks it out of her grasp.

"Shinigami, of course," he says scornfully, while Rukia jerks in pain on the ground.

Renji feels sick and helpless, wanting to lunge for the screen, to stop it, but knowing that there's nothing he can do. This has already _happened_.

"Hey, Ginjou, what are you doing?" the big guy says, rushing forward.

"Tsukishima!" Ginjou says, without talking his eyes off Rukia.

"You don't want to do that," Tsukishima says, moving forward lighting fast to grab his arm. "Don't you trust me, Sado-kun?"

"I-" Sado starts, looking between Ginjou and Rukia in confusion. "I don't-"

"Why are you hurting Kuchiki-san?" Inoue says and the karate girl looks uncertain as well.

"Ginjou..." the karate girl says slowly. "That's enough. Why are you...I don't underst-"

"Run!" Ishida gasps, struggling to move, but the dark skinned woman kicks him down again.

"Enough, the both of you!" the pigtailed girl says, looking horrified. "Let's just get Kurosaki and leave, okay? Wasn't that the plan?"

It starts to rain then, a soft pattering sound filling the room, water lightly streaking the lens of the camera.

"Calm down, Riruka," Ginjou says, running a hand back through his wet hair casually. "Just a bit of fun. But as much as I like beating down shinigami, you've got a point. Let's finish this. Tsukishima."

With a flick of Tsukishima's finger, Inoue, Sado, and the karate girl fall to the ground without a word.

"Hado no 88!" Rukia's voice comes weakly from her broken body on the ground. "Hiryuugeki-"

"Really?" Ginjou says contemptuously, lifting her up by the throat and cutting her off. "You people never give up, do you?"

"Scum," Rukia says hoarsely, blood dripping down her face from her forehead. "What do you want with Ichigo?"

"Yeah, that's a good question," someone else says. "What _do_ you want with me?"

The camera swerves automatically at the sound of a new voice and Renji receives another shock as the orange haired kid steps into view from the trees.

"Put. Her. Down." the kid snarls, though it's not particularly impressive as he looks just about as threatening as a drowned rat.

"_He_ has spiritual power too?" Hisagi-senpai says sharply, turning to the green haired girl. "I thought you said-"

"It didn't show up on any of our reading-"

"Silence!" Kuchiki-taichou says before Renji can and Renji turns back to the screen, trying to think back on every time he'd seen the reclusive kid and remember if he'd ever shown any signs of being anything other than an ordinary human.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Kurosaki Ichigo himself," Ginjou says, grinning manically, "We've spent a lot of time trying to get your attention, you know."

"You've got it," Kurosaki spits out, hands clenched into fists, "You Tsukishima?"

"That would be me actually," Tsukishima says and Kurosaki's expression turns even more furious.

"Fool," Rukia chokes weakly, still held immobile by Ginjou's hand around her small neck. "Why did you come here?"

Kurosaki ignores her.

"Leave them alone," he tells Tsukishima and Ginjou harshly. "You've got my _fucking_ attention now."

Ginjou sighs. "This isn't really the way we wanted things to go, you know," he says casually, still holding Rukia adjacent to his body. "In the beginning we thought you'd join us. But then you had to be living with this shinigami whore. One of _them_."

He tightens his hold on Rukia's neck and she jerks helplessly in the air, hands coming up to clutch vainly at his fingers. Renji has to hold back a furious sound from spilling out of his throat and dig his nails so hard into the flesh of his palm that it begins to bleed. Oh, God, he doesn't want to see Rukia die on a surveillance tape in front of the rest of the Soul Society, he doesn't-he _can't-_

"Shit," Hitsugaya-taichou mutters under his breath in disgust. "What the hell is this?"

"HEY!" Kurosaki shouts, striding forward furiously. "Don't you _touch_ her!"

His teeth are clenched together fiercely and Renji has to admire his bravery, even though he's clearly a complete moron.

"You leave her out of this!" he continues, voice cracking with suppressed emotion. "You want me? Fine! I'm here! But you don't touch my family, you don't touch my friends, and you don't touch _her_! Don't you_ dare, _Rukia!" he says when Rukia tries to protest. "You won't step in front of me this time! You've got me now. I am _right here_!"

"Kurosaki..." Ishida gasps from the ground. "You idiot, wha-"

"Shut up, Ishida!" Kurosaki yells, shaking not with fear, not with cold from the rain, but from genuine rage and for the first time Renji can see why Rukia loves him.

Ginjou, Tsukishima, and the others look vaguely amused at his outburst, but the pigtailed girl, Riruka or something, looks stricken.

Ginjou drops Rukia into the mud without preamble and stalks towards Kurosaki.

"Pathetic," he says scornfully, resting his large sword on his shoulders. "You really used to be something, didn't you, Kurosaki? And now look at you. You're a sad sight without your powers. How long has it been now since you brought down Aizen Sousuke? Two years?"

"What?" Renji gasps, but no one hears him as the rest of the captains are busying expressing their own disbelief.

He reevaluates the kid for the dozenth time and thinks, no way, not him. Not this moody _child_.

"Two years, eight months, and four days," Kurosaki says viciously, rain water running down his face now and dripping off from his chin.

"Impossible," Soifon-taichou exclaims, dark eyes wide and incredulous. "That human defeated _Aizen_?"

"And your powers were the price," Ginjou laughs, shaking his head. "But you won't have to worry about that anymore. Not when we're done with you."

"Ginjou!" the pigtailed girl speaks up again. "You said we weren't going to kill him!"

"Yeah, well, he's pissing me off," Ginjou replies, the first sign of annoyance flickering across his face as he glares at Kurosaki. "Coming here without any sort of plan. Powerless and _weak_. Makes me sick."

"Oi, Ginjou..." the dark skinned woman says worriedly.

"Don't worry, Jackie," Tsukishima says matter of factly. "He won't remember this conversation."

The kid grits his teeth, but stands his ground, looking ridiculous in his soaked human clothes and bright hair.

"Fine then," he says, straightening his back and standing tall. "But leave my family and friends out of it!"

"Cute," Ginjou smirks lazily.

"Ginjou..." Riruka starts again, pleadingly.

"Shut up, if you don't want to be next, Riruka," Ginjou turns back to snap at her. "You're getting on my nerves."

"But-"

"Ichigo..." Rukia's voice comes faintly, muffled by earth. "What...are you doing, you fool. Run...away..." She tries to pick herself up off the ground and the determined look disappears from Kurosaki's face to be replaced by something like fear.

"Stay _down_, Rukia!" he shouts angrily, eyes wide and terrified.

"You are really such an...idiot," Rukia gasps, on her knees now and in a flash she's up and running at Kurosaki, leaving her sword behind in the mud.

"Wait!" Kurosaki and Riruka shout at the same time, but Ginjou's blade swings down without mercy and Rukia's left arm hits the ground with a splatter of blood.

Rukia stumbles, but does not fall and she reaches Kurosaki before Ginjou can strike again. There's a flash of white and then Kurosaki has a sword through his heart, Rukia's hand clenched tightly around the hilt.

Renji has just enough time to wonder if he has gone completely insane as he stares at the scene before him, before all the other captains shocked exclamations drown out everything else.

"Wha-" Kurosaki chokes, eyes dropping down to the sword through his chest in shock. Rukia sags against him, head hitting his chest. "You-"

"Here we go again..." she says faintly, barely audible over the sound of the rain. "I was hoping...Just a little more. But you will have to make due with-"

There's an explosion of mud and dirt around Kurosaki that splatters the lens of the camera and Rangiku-san actually lets out of squeak of shock. The dust clears to reveal a far more shocking scene, one that causes Renji's mouth to drop open. No way, no fucking way, this was impossi-

Kurosaki stands in shihakushou, a barely conscious Rukia in one hand and a sword even stupidly bigger than Ginjou's in the other. He looks just about as surprised as everyone else, both on camera and off, and for a moment, all of them stare at him.

Ginjou recovers first drawing his sword out to point it at Kurosaki quickly.

"Impossible," he gasps, eyes narrowed and posture stiffening as if he's readying himself for battle nonetheless. "There's no way...You may look like a shinigami, but one person's reiatsu isn't enough to-"

"Idiot," Ishida says coldly from the corner of the lens, pulling himself to his feet and Renji almost jumps. He'd forgotten he was even there. "We've all been pouring our reiatsu into that sword for _months_."

Blue energy forms a bow in his arms once again. "Go, Kurosaki!" he shouts, aiming for Tsukishima.

Kurosaki glances down worriedly at Rukia, blood and rain dripping down her short hair, and then a cold fury comes over his face as he looks back up at Ginjou.

"Ban," he says and Renji can almost feel the increase in reiatsu through the screen. "Kai."

There's another explosion of power and then the screen goes static again, leaving the entire room to stare silently at the grey and white mess.

"What?" Hitsugaya-taichou says eloquently after a moment. "The fuck."

"The camera..." Yamamoto-soutaichou says slowly, both eyes wide in shock as he stares at the screen.

"I...it...it was overloaded by reiatsu," the green haired girl stutters, actually shaking now. "They're not meant to deal with more than...our last reading was...was f-four times captain-class!"

"Four _times_-" Komamura-taichou starts and then promptly looks sick.

"I think I need to sit down," Ukitake-taichou says faintly, going even more pale than he already was.

Renji would like to second this statement. He's not sure how much longer his knees will hold him up as he realizes the full extent of his old childhood friend's involvement with the criminal elements of their world.

Because once the Soul Society gets over the shock of the fact that it looks like some human kid defeated the largest threat they've ever known, they'll be coming for her and Kurosaki Ichigo, hard, and there's nothing Renji can do to stop them.

**A/N: I think I liked this part a lot better the first time I wrote it, but I have no idea how to fix it. But yay, plot? And powers. Those are also important. Please review!**


	18. Old Sins

The first time she doesn't even think about it. The enemy is before her, its sneering Hollow mask a chilling contrast to his human face and he introduces himself, practically bleeding arrogance. And in the split-second moment that follows, Rukia knows she cannot reply with the name Kuchiki. It is one thing to give it to friends and allies (however unpleasant), or to use it as an alias at Ichigo's school, where it means nothing. But it is another entirely to utter it in an Arrancar's presence. It feels strangely like deceit.

It is not like she asked for it. She hadn't wanted it at the time, still isn't really comfortable with it now. Despite its prestige, the Noble House of Kuchiki has done her no favors. It is only her respect for Nii-sama that she does not cast the name Kuchiki off entirely.

She's thought about it, several times over the years. It leaves a bitter taste in her mouth every new person she introduces herself to, shame drilling a hole in her heart. She knows it's not right that she uses this name, but she doesn't know what to _do_, which is the best way to do right by Nii-sama. He did adopt her, after all, allow her to live in his ancestral home, and provide for her in all the ways real families were supposed to, even if the real reason for her adoption still makes her a little sick to her stomach. Rukia could never fathom his mind, does not know whether he would prefer her to leave his name out of her treachery or be insulted that she rejected his gift.

So she compromises, walks the thin line between two stark options, giving it to those she trusts only. She does not know what else to do, and for the millionth time she ungratefully wishes Kuchiki Byakuya would have just passed her over.

The Kuchiki name is a part of her, undeniably, but in two years time, she will not be lying when she tells Ichigo that it does not belong to her. She's had it now for more than forty years, but it has never been hers. It probably never will be.

But she stands before the enemy now, one of Aizen's creations and she must reply. Rukia is a traitor and an exile, a liar and a collaborator with some of the Soul Society's greatest criminals, and she knows she cannot attach the Kuchiki name to that even more than she already has.

So she does not even stop to think, and uses Ichigo's name instead.

It becomes a habit after that, a convenient way to distance herself from one of the highest ranked noble families in the Soul Society, to shield them from the dishonor of being associated with a defector. Most of her battles are fought alone, so it's not until months later, in Hueco Mundo, that Ichigo overhears her.

"Did you introduce yourself as _Kurosaki_ Rukia, before?" he asks her later, after they have brought down Yami, as she uses kidou to heal the worst of an unconscious Sado's wounds until Inoue and Ishida return from the roof.

In any other circumstances Rukia might have told him to drop it, but her arm is badly broken, crushed from Yami's grip, and Rukia's just so relieved that they're all alive and too worried about the defeated look in Ichigo's eyes to deny him.

"I can hardly use my name," she replies, moving one glowing hand down to Sado's busted up ribs.

Ichigo blinks in confusion, crossing his arms over his chest. "Huh? Why?"

Sometimes she forgets how little he knows about their world. No. Her world. Not his. The idea of a shinigami not knowing of the Kuchiki Clan is laughable, but then again, they are not shinigami. Not anymore.

"I am a deserter," she finds herself saying bluntly, looking up to meet his eyes calmly. "I will not drag the Kuchiki name through the mud with me if I can help it."

Ichigo scowls at this, obviously not happy with the meaning behind her words, but he doesn't call her on it. Instead, he raises an eyebrow testily.

"Right..." he says slowly. "So, what, _my_ name is totally fine to use then?"

Rukia suppresses an absurd smile. "Ichigo," she says candidly, moving to a new injury on Sado's chest. "You are a ridiculously over-powered human with no control over your spiritual power, working closely with Soul Society criminals. To be honest, I am not sure how much worse of a reputation your name can get."

"OI!"

But he doesn't complain too much, or even ask her to stop doing it. Rukia thinks he's actually kind of flattered.

**A/N: Lol, and you actually thought more plot was going to happen. Sorry, it was about time for another flashback! The plot will return next part, I promise! Please review!**


	19. Autonomy

Ichigo is practically _vibrating_ with excitement. Rukia watches him out of the corner of her eye as he fidgets in his seat, obviously resisting pacing a hole in Urahara's tatami mats. In any other circumstance it would be amusing, but Rukia is more than a bit preoccupied with the reason Ichigo isn't out testing his newly-returned powers, mainly the girl lying in the futon adjacent to him.

Rukia does not want the girl there. She would rather her gone or dead like her comrades, but Ichigo has always been stupidly honorable and trusting.

The girl, Riruka, seems to agree with this assessment.

"Oh, my god, you're _insane_," she says once she wakes up and gets her bearings.

"Uh..." Ichigo says, getting to his feet. "Wha-"

"Are you stupid or something?" she snaps and Rukia feels her hackles rise at her tone. "You do remember that I _sliced your chest open_, right? Why didn't you kill me?"

"You thought I was going to _kill you_?" Ichigo exclaims, horrified. "Who do you think-We're not going to kill you!"

The girl's eyes widen and she whips her head around the room. "'We-'" she starts, and then stops, paling when she spots Rukia.

"You!" she hisses and Rukia raises an eyebrow coolly in response.

"_Hi_," she says shortly, crossing her arms over her chest. Her left arm twinges slightly, even after Inoue's healing, but she ignore it.

She's gratified to see a look of fear cross Riruka's face.

"Look," Ichigo says impatiently. "What you did back there...you didn't have to do that. So stop freaking out."

The expression on Riruka's face wavers between incredulity and looking like she's about to cry. Rukia scowls and leans further against the wall.

Ichigo looks uncomfortably and frowns. "Er...are you okay?"

"No," Riruka bites out and buries her face in her knees.

Ichigo gives Rukia a helpless look, but she remains stoic. Just because the girl is showing emotional weakness does not mean she should underestimate her; Rukia knows that much.

"Right," Ichigo says, looking between them awkwardly, before shrugging and standing. "I'm going to get Urahara-san. Try not to kill each other."

_"Do I have to?"_ Rukia thinks darkly as he leaves the room, not looking away from the girl for a second.

Presently, Riruka raises her head and gives her a baleful look through red-rimmed eyes.

"Your boyfriend's an idiot," she says accusingly, wiping her eyes.

"Not that it particularly matters," Rukia says coldly, "but he is simply my roommate."

The word "boyfriend" sounds so _stupid_, and Rukia refuses to lower herself to Riruka's level by repeating it. But roommates is the least of what they are; they're friends, they're comrades, so why did she say roommate?

Riruka looks surprised. "Really?" she says irreverently, fixing her hair with shaking hands. "He's pretty hot. I'd hit that."

Rukia has honestly never thought about Ichigo's looks other than his shockingly bright hair color, and she frowns at the crudeness of her last sentence in particular. She doesn't know exactly what it means, but she can guess, and the fact that Riruka is voicing these opinions in the wake of one of her comrade's death and the others' disappearances does not reflect well on her.

"Are you just going to stare at me all night?" Riruka snaps defensively when Rukia does not reply.

Rukia rolls her eyes and gets to her feet, leaving the room without a word.

"Freak," she hears Riruka mutter on her way out.

Rukia was not exactly pleased when Ichigo'd insisted that they bring Riruka back with them after the fight, but that's nothing compared to how she feels when the girl declares that she will train Ichigo to gain some strange human power like her own, called a "furuburingu." Ichigo doesn't seem particularly interested at first, but the draw of gaining new powers is too much to resist, and he understands all too well Riruka's mind-set that leads her to insist that she owes him and must pay him back.

Rukia does not like it one bit, but there is life in Ichigo's eyes for the first time in years, so she keeps her mouth shut. And anyway, it isn't like any of her objections are really valid. She may think Riruka untrustworthy and petty, but with Ichigo's powers back it's not like he's in any real danger. But as the days go by, Rukia finds herself more and more uncomfortable at the arrangement.

It's not because of Ichigo that she begins to feel threatened. He doesn't even seem to like Riruka much, and if she feels some great attraction to him, she's certainly hiding it well. It's not Ichigo. It's just everyone else.

Because after a couple days, Riruka starts talking with Sado about how his power is actually a Fullbring. She gets in a long argument over the merits of passementerie on fabrics other than linen with Ishida and shares sweets with Inoue. After a while, Inoue starts referring to her as "Riruka-chan." Even the rest of them use her given name in some fashion. Rukia supposes "Dokugamine" is a bit of a mouthful, but...

She's always been Kuchiki-san. She'd never really thought anything of it before, but now it starts to bother her. Is it because Riruka is human and she is not? Or is there something else about her that causes them, even after three years, to regard her so distantly. She feels like it's the Academy all over again, with Renji making new friends and slowly but surely leaving her behind. Rukia has no doubt that even if the Kuchiki had not adopted her, her and Renji's friendship would have dissolved into mere acquaintances anyway.

She sees Ichigo argue loudly with Riruka over her horrible training methods, Inoue smile sweetly enough to shake her out of her bad temper, Sado hang onto her every word about the origins of his Fullbring powers, and Ishida roll his eyes at her fashion sense. Rukia sees all this, but she cannot participate or affect any kind of change. She is forever on the sidelines and the fact that she had to give her gigai back to Urahara after it started having functional problems only makes it worse. She can no longer hide behind its smooth, untarnished face. Rukia finds herself looking in the new bathroom mirror, running her fingers over her scar, stretching it with her cheek muscle; her jagged, grotesque, _ugly_ scar that marks her as used goods more than anything she'd done in the 78th did.

Riruka does not approach her, avoids speaking to her at all costs. Rukia thinks she's afraid of her, but it's a cold comfort as she's beginning to worry that the rest of her friends feel the same.

"What's with you?" Ichigo asks her a week later.

She's sitting on the roof of their apartment building, cleaning her sword off after a particularly messy kill, looking over the bright lights of Karakura, shining in the summer night.

Rukia turns, surprised that he's managed to find her up here. He's still in shihakushou, but these strange sort of..._things_ are starting to form around his neck, wrists and ankles as a result of his Fullbring training.

"Where is your body?" she stalls.

Ichigo scowls. "Kon still has it, the asshole," he grouses, completely unmoved by their roommates' exuberant reaction to finally being free of a plush cotton body for the first time in two and a half years. "I have no idea where he is and I don't want to know."

Rukia smiles weakly and then turns back to the view, closing her eyes as a light wind hits her face.

"You're not answering my question," Ichigo observes, coming to sit next to her on the ledge, leaning his zanpakutou against the wall beside him. "You've been...I dunno, weird lately."

"I do not like her," she says and even before she finishes saying it she feels petty.

"Yeah, she's kind of a bitch, that's nothing new," Ichigo says and Rukia would feel better, but he calls _her_ a bitch at least twenty times a week and couldn't mean it less.

"Are you seriously still mad about that time in the library?" Ichigo says exasperatedly, as if it had happened two years ago instead of two weeks. "_I_ was the one she put in the hospital, you know."

_"YES_," Rukia thinks furiously, hands clenching into fists. _"She cut your chest open, drugged you, and was going to _give you_ to them. Why do you have to be so foolishly trusting?" _

But instead she just opens her eyes and shrugs her shoulders noncommittally, trying to focus on the view instead of him.

There's less than half a meter between them. He's so close...it would be so easy to just lean against him, press her face into his shoulder. It would be so, _so _easy.

"Rukia?" he says, and she turns to see a worried look start to come over his face, visible even in the bad light.

She's known how he's felt about her for a long time. He's never voiced it, probably never will voice it, but she knows all the same. Ichigo lives with her, yells at her for her inability to figure out the dishwasher, scowls when she makes fun of his horrendous cooking, specifically buys ramune just to watch her struggle with opening the bottle, makes sarcastic remarks about her drawings, and, every once and a while, looks at her like she hangs the moon. Like just one word from her could stop the rain and clear away the clouds.

She's known for two and a half years and she's spent every day hoping that eventually it would pass. She'd hoped that nameless thing he felt for her would fade with time, that maybe he'd meet someone at his university, and then he'd look at another woman that way.

But he won't, will he? Not with her living with him, anyway.

Besides, she's known for a while that the two of them, together all the time...it probably isn't healthy. They're a little bit too co-dependent on each other, always were, even from the beginning. Now that the danger has passed, there is no reason for her to stay. Ichigo is not sad anymore. He has his powers back and he's been happier this past week than she's seen him in years. That part of the equation has been taken care of.

"Rukia?" Ichigo says again, turning his head to the side to inspect her more closely. "Hey. What's wrong?"

_"I am in love with you,"_ Rukia thinks, only a little sadly. She gives her zanpakutou one more cursory swipe with the rag and then sheathes her blade, sticking the blood-stained cloth in her obi.

"Ichigo," she says softly, instead, locking eyes with him determinedly. "I need to go away for a while."

Ichigo frowns. "Where?"

Rukia shrugs helplessly. "Just away. I...there are some things...I need to clear my head. I was thinking about asking Urahara-sama for a job...somewhere else. My gigai is fried anyway, so..."

"Clear your head?" Ichigo repeats, looking even more concerned. "What are you talking about?"

"Just for a little while," she lies effortlessly. "I just need a break, you know?"

"A break from what?" Ichigo demands, starting to look almost insulted now.

Rukia rolls her eyes and punches him in the shoulder. "Do not look like that, Ichigo," she orders in a no-nonsense tone. She disembarks from the ledge and walks back across the roof to the door that leads to the stairwell. "Stop worrying. I will be back before you know it."

It is a lie and an act. She's putting on a tough face, but one touch from him and she'll shatter. But Ichigo will never touch her. He'd never touch anyone he wasn't absolutely sure wanted to be touched, because he's a good man. Probably having little sisters has something to do with it as well. He won't know.

He can never know, she's aware. From the start, she's always known that. It's not about her, not really. It's about Ichigo. He needs someone kind, and understanding, and most importantly, _human_. And she's not really any of those things. What she wants for him is...has _always been_ some semblance of normality. He should be with someone who he can settle down and have children with, not a dead woman fifty years his senior.

Not to mention Rukia has always had...issues, for the lack of a better word. Self-esteem issues, to be specific. They'd been a long time coming, but Rukia recognized them in Renji far before she recognized them in herself. Coming from the 78th District of the Rukongai, it was probably inevitable that they feel unworthy and beneath their noble classmates, who were at best bemused and at worst openly scornful of their uncultivated manners. Being adopted by the Kuchiki Clan for no other reason than she resembled its head's deceased wife and forced to bear the jealousy and ill-will of her peers only made things worse. And when she killed Kaien-dono, Rukia truly began to hate herself.

She doesn't anymore, of course. The passage of time and the discovery of Aizen's role in her vice-captain's death did much to assuage her once virulent self-loathing. Finding purpose in working for Urahara and meeting Ichigo and the others have made her happier than she ever was as a shinigami, but Rukia is so old now, so much older than Ichigo, and she knows herself well. She's always leaned towards melancholia and even if she was selfish enough to take what she wants, there is no guarantee that everything wouldn't just fall apart. She knows there is little chance of anything more than friendship between her and Ichigo working out in the long run. It's better this way.

So she'll go away now, and maybe in a couple months it'd be safe to come back. He's got his powers back now, and he doesn't need her to temper his despair and kick him in the head when he was an asshole to any of their friends any longer. It's time to move on.

And it's going to have to be him, because Rukia doesn't think she can.

**A/N: Annnnnngst. You really didn't think I was going to end it there, did you? Anyway, I hope you liked this one! Please review!**


	20. Bloodguilt

The Soul Society is complete chaos. Sasakibe-fukutaichou has been murdered by invading forces within Seireitei walls. The Quincy, as they are apparently called, are some old enemy from over two hundred years ago that Renji never learned about at the Academy. Yamamoto-soutaichou is more furious than Renji's ever seen him, even after three captains defected. They are not waiting like they did to deal with Aizen; the Soul Society now has days to prepare for a full scale war against the Quincy.

For now, Kurosaki Ichigo has been forgotten. The higher ups have understandably designated the exile problem as a lesser priority, with only a brief discussion since Sasakibe's murder.

"What about the Quincy before?" Hitsugaya-taichou had demanded. "Kurosaki Ichigo's comrade? Could he be involved?"

The older captains hadn't looked particularly impressed at what Renji had thought was a perfectly valid question, and Kurotsuchi-taichou had burst out into raucous laughter.

"Hah, that child?" Kurotsuchi-taichou replied scornfully. "Real Quincy despise shinigami. He's a freak just like the rest of them if he'd work with Kurosaki and Urahara. He'd hardly be a part of the Vandereich. But you'd be too young to know that, wouldn't you?"

"_Excuse _me," Hitsugaya-taichou had replied scathingly.

"Enough," Kuchiki-taichou said sharply and at the time Renji remembered that he had been on good terms with Sasakibe (or on as good of terms as his former captain was ever on with anyone.) "We do not have time for your prattle. Let us move forward."

But Renji honestly hasn't thought about Rukia or Kurosaki in days, since Kira came to him with who had really been behind the _twenty-eight thousand _disappeared souls in the Rukongai. Everyone knows now, it'd been brought up at the last Captain's meeting, and _no one has done anything_. Twenty-eight thousand slaughtered, even for the balance of the world, and everyone is acting like it's _okay_, like it's normal. There are certainly captains that disapprove of Kurotsuchi's unauthorized action, but no one has called him out on it and if Renji has to hear the words "acceptable loss" one more time-

He can't sleep. Twenty-eight thousand shadows haunt his dreams and more than once he wonders what he got himself into. It's not like he was blind to the dubious morality of the choices the Soul Society makes. And even then he'd only become a shinigami to escape a life of horrific poverty and degradation in the first place. But he'd always believed that the Soul Society acted in the interests of the greater good. And, sure, he can see the argument for protecting the balance of the world, but Renji didn't sign up for this, no way. There was no discussion, no weighing of any sort of options. Kurotsuchi just _did it_ and Yamamoto-soutaichou didn't even punish him for his insubordination. They'd just...moved on.

Renji keeps his head down, prepares for the coming war, but sometimes it takes every ounce of strength he possesses to not rip Kurotsuchi's smug face to pieces. He can't even look at members of the 12th division anymore without wondering _Was it her? Or him? Were they one of the ones..._Everyone knew that the 12th division had a different definition of morality than the rest of them, but this is...

He doesn't know what to say, what to _do_. He never thought he'd be powerless after becoming a captain, but that's exactly how he feels. He's too junior to have any say in major decisions, especially against Kurotsuchi-taichou, who's been a captain since before Renji was _born_. Central 46 still hasn't completely recovered from Aizen's massacre, but even if they had Renji doubts they'd do anything either. As horrible as it is, he thinks he's going to have to learn to live with this, to live with the knowledge that the this is one of the many ugly things the Soul Society does and by association, he is undeniably culpable as well. And he knows that short of their destruction by vengeful Quincy, they are never going to change.

But the balance of the world depends on the coming battles and Renji needs to get his head in the game. They have a war coming, not just against rogue captains, but a full-scale army of enemies who effortlessly breached their defenses and killed one of the strongest warriors in the entire Soul Society just days before. He can drown in guilt and worry about the fate of his oldest friend later. Right now he has to put aside his personal feelings and misgivings, and focus on the getting through the next few days with the fate of the world at stake.

But fuck him if he ever forgets what happened in those districts and how acceptance of such a horrific crime came so _easily_ to his peers.

**A/N: So, getting into the Quincy arc obviously, which is why my updates are slowing down. Don't worry, I still plan on continuing this fic as regularly as I can, but it's going to be longer between parts because I have to wait for more stuff to happen in the manga before I continue. Please bear with me and review!**


	21. Unintended Pit Stop

A week after Ginjou's death, Riruka disappears and no one knows where she has gone. Ichigo, Inoue, and Sado go out and look for her, but Rukia knows they will not find her. She's not sure how she feels about it. Strange, as weeks before the girl cut Ichigo down in front of her without mercy. But it is undeniable that she helped them, with no benefit to herself, and trained Ichigo to make up for her actions.

With Ichigo out of the way, however, Rukia is packing. It's taking far longer than her experiences with packing in the past because she has so much more stuff than she's ever had in her life, but also because she doesn't know what to bring. She probably doesn't need any human clothes where she's going, but there's the first dress that she'd ever bought with her own money, the fuzzy gloves she wore during the winter, and the book of pictures of small animals that Ichigo'd got her for her birthday mostly as a joke, that she'd pretended to be insulted at, but secretly loved. There's the dangling sparkly earrings with jewels that she'd bought even though she doesn't have her ears pierced, finer than anything she'd ever seen in the Soul Society, the nice set of markers-so many different _colors_!- and thick paper that Inoue had given her, the books and movies she keeps in the box hidden under her bed because their topics make Ichigo uncomfortable and sad, the tote bag with three yellow ducklings that Ishida had embroidered on it, and all the pictures she has of her friends from over the years. She doesn't see how she can leave them behind, but she can't take _everything_, so she's got her stuff spread out all over her bed and part of the floor.

"What. The hell." Ichigo says and Rukia almost jumps in surprise. She looks up from her seated place on the floor to see Ichigo standing at her open door, eyes wide, his face pale. She's confused for a second, and only realizes after a moment how this must look.

"I-Ichigo!" she says, leaping to her feet, ready to say that it isn't what it looks like-

But that would be a lie. Because it's exactly what it looks like.

"I thought," Ichigo says slowly, deliberately, in that voice that means he's try to keep from shouting, "you said you were only going away for a little while."

"I-" Rukia starts, feeling her throat go dry. "I was-I mean, I am-"

"Oh, who do you think you're kidding?" Ichigo asks furiously, striding as far into her room as possible without stepping on any of her stuff, which is about one step. "You're a good liar, Rukia, but you're not that good."

"And that is supposed to mean _what_ exactly?" Rukia shoots back, because everyone knows that the best defense is a good offense.

"Why are you doing this?" Ichigo says, voice rising with every word, like an alarm. "What the _hell_, Rukia! You said you needed to clear your head! _This-_" He makes a sweeping gesture at her stuff strewn around the room. "-is not clearing your head. _This _is running away! _Again_!"

"I am _not_ running away!" Rukia says loudly, clenching her fists at her sides, trying to cut him off before things get really serioud. "If you would stop jumping to conclusions for one second-"

"Were you even going to _tell_ me?" Ichigo shouts, and shit, they've had fights before, but not like this. Usually it's just over stupid things, things that don't really matter in the long run, because they're both too stubborn for their own good and have always liked ribbing each other a little too much. But this is different. What is said now will not be forgotten. The only times that have come close are when he'd woken up after the first confrontation with Aizen, where she'd told him to spare Ichigo, to kill her instead, and then later, when Ichigo'd found out that she'd taken on Hollow powers.

"Or were you just going to leave some stupid note like last time?" Ichigo continues, starting to get red in the face.

"Oh, shut _up_!" Rukia shouts back, starting to get angry as well. "You have no _idea_ what you are talking ab-"

"Then tell me!" Ichigo yells, looking furious, and confused, and _hurt, _like Rukia's stuck her hand through his chest, not moving out. "Why the fuck do you need to "clear you head," huh? If this is some stupid attempt to try and protect me, I swear to _God, _Rukia, I will-"

In that moment, Rukia _hates_ him. She cannot believe how much of an idiot he is, how _stupid_ he's being, because only a complete moron would be this dense. He should know by now, he should know _everything_, but he doesn't. It probably hasn't even crossed his mind, and Rukia hates it.

"Y-You are...so..._stupid_!" she says angrily, so mad she can barely speak.

It isn't fair. It isn't fair and it isn't right and he is so _dumb_, because he thinks she doesn't like him, even after _everything_, and that couldn't be further from the truth. It doesn't make any sense that _Ichigo_ of all people, always so confident and self-assured, just passively _assumes _her indifference. He's so ridiculously good at everything else, so why this, why this _one thing_, does he have to be so completely _wrong_ about? It's a stupid thing to be mad about-she doesn't _want_ him to know-but his simple assumption that she couldn't possible feel the same as he does makes her so _angry_. She wants to lash out at him, say something cruel, anything to make him stop _talking_. She wants to say "Why do you _think_?" but she knows Ichigo wouldn't understand. He'd misinterpret it, think he'd done something wrong, when in reality he's gone out of his way to hide his feelings from her. As if he's worried of _offending _her, or some other ridiculous nonsense like that. It's horrible; he's trying to be kind, to be _good, _but Rukia doesn't want it. She doesn't want it, doesn't need it. She wants _him_, more than anything she's ever wanted in her life, but Ichigo doesn't know. He's completely oblivious, he doesn't _understand_, and worse, he actually seems _fine_ with it most of the time. Like it's okay that he's living with someone who doesn't return his feelings. Rukia thinks she could deal with it if Ichigo was just...waiting for the right moment or something. But he's not, he honestly doesn't expect anything other than friendship between them and it _infuriates_ her.

She wants to hit him. She wants to _punch him in the face_. She wants to kick his head in and then shove him back on her bed and have her way with him, see his face blurred with pleasure, feel his hands on her, him in her, hear his helpless moans-it would be so much easier without the broken ar-

"_I'm _stupid?" Ichigo shouts back, so loudly that everyone in a block radius must be able to hear. "You're the one incapable of basic communication!"

Rage courses through her and Rukia throws what she's holding to the ground, a pair of underwear embarrassingly enough.

"Oh, sure!" she yells, digging her nails hard into her palms. "I will just stay, and obviously that will solve _everything_-"

Ichigo looks shocked for a second, but then the anger is back. "What the hell is there to _solve_, Rukia?" he says, with that stubborn expression that means that he's not going to give in. "Why won't you tell me what the hell's going on?"

"If you were not such a _fucking _moron-" Rukia starts, and Ichigo looks like he's on the brink of violence, but then-

Reiatsu spike.

"Do you-" she says, but from the look on Ichigo's face he feels it too.

Rukia whirls around, almost getting whiplash from the sudden change in mood. It's...there's something here, something next door, in Ichigo's-

Ichigo's out the door before she can say anything else and Rukia hurtles after him without a thought. They get to Ichigo's room at approximately the same time, almost slamming into the door frame. There's someone already in there.

It's a man; tall and in an odd white coat, with a familiar looking mask. But he wasn't in Hueco Mundo, Rukia would have remembered _this_ reiatsu, strange, because it's almost like-

"Hey, I don't know who you are," Ichigo says coldly, stiffening up for a fight, "but get off that bed."

**A/N: I return! With more angst! But I promise we will be getting plot soon to balance it all out, so no worries. **Also, next time will be Ichigo, because it's been a while.** Please review!**


	22. Simmer Until Tender

Urahara-san doesn't know who that "Ivan Azgiaro" was, or his possible connection to the Quincy. Of course, he could just be lying, but Ichigo suspects his old mentor/sometime-antagonist might actually be telling the truth this time.

Whatever the case, it doesn't bode well for the near-future. If whatever group Ivan was working with is trying to develop something that will cause Bankai to vanish...well, then their target is probably the Soul Society and that the fate of the world is in danger. Again.

Ichigo realizes this should probably upset him more. And well...he's a little annoyed. Finals are coming soon and if this turns out to be another one of those skipping class for two months straight things, he's probably going to fail out of university, which would not only be completely embarrassing, but also really inconvenient.

But he's spent the last two and a half years without his sword and _God_, did it feel good to get in a proper fight again, even if his opponent wimped out at the last second.

The whole concept of his Bankai being destroyed does freak him out a little though, especially right after he got it back. Ichigo can still feel the sensation of...whatever the thing Ivan used crawling up the back of his neck and it brings back the completely unwelcome feeling of bone-deep fear that he hasn't felt in a while and hasn't ever wanted to feel again.

But besides the annoyance, what he mostly feels is overwhelming relief. Though they haven't spoken a word about their fight after his clash with Ivan, Ichigo knows Rukia will not leave now. Too many things are up in the air and even though she'd planned to _abandon hi_...to go before, she won't leave with what is possibly another war on the horizon.

That knowledge, however, doesn't make him any less _furious_ with her though.

He knows it's irrational. It's her life and he doesn't have any say in what Rukia's choices end up being.

Unless, of course, they are throwing herself in the path of danger to protect him choices, in which case he fucking does have a say.

But Ichigo knows...he knows these past few years can't have been much fun for her either. She's a shinigami, no matter how long ago she left the Soul Society, and working as a shopgirl isn't what she's built for. Even working for Urahara-san isn't ideal, because as much as Rukia plays the part of the loyal soldier, Ichigo knows her well enough to know she despises him.

She has every right to go if she wants to, he can't stop her, she's not _his_ to keep. He knows this, but the feeling of horrible betrayal won't leave, instead, it stews in the pit of his stomach, like a cancer, poisoning his thoughts. He's only spoken to her when absolutely necessary since it happened, because he's afraid he might explode into a truly pointless rage. Part of him still can't believe Rukia would do this to him, that she'd leave him after everything that they've been through, even though he knows it doesn't make any sense. Ichigo guesses he thought...he doesn't know what he thought. That she'd always be with him? That nothing would ever change?

So he's an idiot, which he _hates_, and luckily enough, when he goes out to patrol to avoid thinking about it, a perfect distraction literally falls out of the sky in front of him.

"Huh," Chad says eloquently when Ichigo calls him to tell him the news.

"Look, I have no clue what's going on, but-"

"You think it has to do with that Ivan guy," Chad finishes solidly.

"Yeah," Ichigo says, watching Rukia's expression become increasingly bewildered as Nel clings to her arm. It had taken twenty minutes to convince her to let go of him so he could make the calls to his friends and she had immediately latched onto Rukia afterward. From what he remembers, Nel had been extremely suspicious of Rukia for the short time they traveled together in Hueco Mundo, but she seems to have forgotten that in her desire for comfort.

Ichigo's hand tightens on his phone as he watches Rukia awkwardly pats Nel on her shaking back. What was going on in Hueco Mundo? Who would want to kidnap Dondochakka or any of the other Arrancar? And what did it have to do with the Quincy? He guess they're probably out for revenge on the Soul Society, but why involve Hueco Mundo? Was there even anything there after Aizen fell?

Ichigo has no particular attachment to the Soul Society and if the Quincy were just going to war against them for, you know, trying to wipe them out two hundred years ago, he's not sure he'd want to get in the middle of that. But the Qui-_whoever_ they were got Nel involved, were tearing up Hueco Mundo and kidnapping people for purposes Ichigo knows cannot be good, not to mention they specifically came after him. And well, if they want a fight, he'll sure as hell bring it to them.

"I think you guys should come over here so we can figure out what to do about this," Ichigo continues, drumming his fingers against the plastic counter-top in the small kitchen. "It sounds pretty bad."

At his words, Rukia abruptly turns to look at him, something Ichigo can't quite decipher flashing in her eyes. It could be surprise, annoyance, or even guilt, but Ichigo can honestly say that he does not give a fuck. He is so done with her bullshit right now...

Ichigo grits his teeth as the dull throb of anger starts to burn in his gut again, but holds her gaze. Thankfully, she glances away, back down to Nel again before Ichigo can do something he regrets.

"Alright," Chad says easily. "I get off work at seven, so I can-"

There is a loud crash and Ichigo whirls around to see Pesche leaping away from the pile of Ichigo's school books that he has knocked off his shelf to the floor.

"Hey!" Ichigo yells irritably, bringing down his cell phone so he can yell at Pesche properly. "Be careful with those, they're ex-"

"Sorry, sorry!" Pesche exclaims, looking terrified, or as terrified as a Hollow can possibly look.

"Howabout I call everyone else?" Chad offers helpfully, sturdy, reliable Chad and Ichigo sighs in relief.

"_Thank_ you," he says gratefully, glaring at Pesche. He knew he shouldn't have let him into his apartment. Pesche gulps audibly, even from across the room.

"Alright, alright," Rukia says, slinging Nel over her shoulder and marching over to the shelf. "Pick those up and put them back!"

Pesche has obviously never seen a book before and picks up his physics textbook by one corner. Rukia rolls her eyes and orders him to do it the right way, arms crossed over her chest like a general surveying her troops. The image is only slighting ruined by Nel drooling on her hair.

"Ichigoooo!" Nel calls happily, scrambling around Rukia's shoulders to see him properly. "What's book?"

"What the hell is all this nois-" Kon yells irritably, climbing in from the window in teddy bear form. "Gah, who the hell are you?!"

Nel's eyes go extremely round and wide, her face splitting into a terrifying grin. She lets out a shriek of glee and throws herself at Kon, who screams and dives behind the TV.

"Hey!" Rukia shouts, hurtling after them. "Don't-ugh-_Ichigo_, get over here, they're going to-"

"Right, talk to you later," Ichigo says quickly and hangs up, hurrying over to intervene before this recipe for disaster leaves his apartment in ruins.

**A/N: Ugh, I really don't like this part, but I didn't know what else to do with it. Anyway, this brings an end to the stuff I've already written, so I really have no idea when the next part is going to come out. Hopefully something in the manga will happen soon? Anyway, please review!**


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